FR 8/30/09: Hottie at the Mall

Decided to take a stroll down the block and stumbled upon the mall. Walked into one of the stories and this hottie greets me. I didn't notice her as I was walking in so I was a little surprised

HBStore: Hi, welcome to __________.
Martyr: Whoa, I didnt even see you there, Hi.

Her ring catches my eye.

Martyr: What's that? (refering to the ring)
HBStore: Oh, it's a ____.
Martyr: (upon close inspection) Cool
HBStore: Thanks!
Martyr: You're in a pretty good mood
HBStore: Yea, it's the weekend.... well, whatever's left of it, I'm going to enjoy it

*after some browsing and some fluff*

Martyr: I'm really just taking a walk around the neighborhood. In fact, it was probably a bad idea for me to bring my wallet with me
HBStore: haha.... yea, the mall does that to people. A walk?
Martyr: I used to work at a mall too!

I browse some more and get her name.

Before leaving the store, I noticed something about her and I decided to say it.

Martyr: You know, you are very sweet, and friendly, especially for someone who is about done with work for the day.
HBStore: Thank you! You should see me at the start of a week, you may change your mind.

Martyr exits the store. Realizes he's being a little bitch. The girl is a cutie and seems like sweetheart. He should go back in there.

Martyr walks around the mall for another FIFTEEN MINUTES before coming up with this plan.

Martyr is going to count till 5, slowly, and when the count is over, he is going to walk back towards the store and ask the girl to join him for a cup of coffee.

1.... 2..... 3..... 4..... 5.....

Martyr: Hey HBStore.
HBStore: Oh, hi again
Martyr: I made a mistake earlier.
HBStore: okay....
Martyr: I met this beautiful girl earlier. About 5'8, long dark hair, and I completely forgot to ask her to join me for a cup of coffee. Would you like to join me for a cup of coffee?
HBStore: I would love to but....

Okay, here comes the boyfriend crap....

HBStore: .....my ride home is coming to pick me up. Do you live in the area?
Martyr: Yea, I live down the block
HBStore: Well, I work all day Thursday, so if you're up for it, we can have coffee at 8ish.

Done!

So I approached, bantered with her, and expressed romantic interest in her..... what am I missing? Oh crap! Time for some last minute comfort!

Martyr: Alright cool, I'll see you on Thursday
HBStore: Yea
Martyr: Wait! You don't know anything about me!
HBStore: Haha! you're right!
Martyr: My favorite color is blue, and I recently moved here from New York

We connected a little bit on moving and having lived in different places.

After a brief chat, I exited the store.

On my way home I was thinking, CRAP, REUNION DINNER IS THURSDAY!

Oh well, can't have it all. Can't win them all.

__________________________________________

Things I did that I had never done:
1) Asked a sales person to join me for coffee
2) Last minute comfort

Things I did well
1) Remained cool and calm

Things I could have done better
1) Not hesitate and walk around the mall like a loser for 15 minutes
2) A little more physical connection (it was very minimal)
3) Not book the meet at the same time as the reunion dinner! (Hope you understand Johnny)

FR 8/15/09: Blocked by Asian Chick on a Street Bounce

Went to San Francisco to see some of the guys, G-Love, Nightjob, and Juggernaut. Bounced around some bars. Nightjob is new to going out in San Francisco (as am I) so he's asking girls in the streets "where's the party at?". At one point he approaches this Asian girl and this White girl on the street. White chick is a cutie, it didn't look like Albert wanted either one, so I went in for the one I wanted.

I simply roll up and say, hey, what's up?

Albert tells me the situation and I wasn't sure what was going on, but I felt my own state dropping so I decided to do something about it.

I positioned myself next to the which chick, who we shall call HBStreetCutie:

Tommy: You look cute as hell tonight. (Giving 60% eye contact to HBStreetCutie and 40% to Asian friend)
Girls: Thank you!
Tommy: Just moved here from New York, having an awesome time in San Francisco
HBStreetCutie: We are going for cigarettes.

She may have said that, but as far as I am concerned, she is standing there talking to me, so it's basically irrelevant.

Tommy: Huh? (with a look of confusion) No! (with a look of certainty). We are going to the next bar.

I kinda of fucked up with the logistics of this move because I didn't actually know where we were going next. NO MATTER! I turned away from the two girls and held out my hand behind me assuming HBStreetCutie would grab it. Bam! It happens, and we are walking hand in hand down the block.

I also fucked up in working with my wings to manage the group so what happened was as I was walking my chick down the block, and the Asian girl caught up to us and walked with us within 5 seconds. Nightjob and G-Love are behind us, and they eventually pass us as they point out a deli across the street where they are going for cigarettes.

Half way down the block, I change from hand holding to me having my arm around her, she sinks into it. Awesome!

I cross the street to the deli. As I am leading them in, the Asian chick grabs my girl and says "No, we are going to Walgreens" and poof! they are gone..... Fuck...

________________________________________

Things I did that I had never done:
1) Start walking a girl from the street to a bar (even though I didn't know where this bar I was going to was)

Things I did well:
1) Assume attraction
2) Lead the interaction
3) Kept my girl in the moment

Things I could have done better:
1) Work with my wings better to get both girls
2) Know where I am leading them to

FR 8/14/09: Unintentional Amogging of Some Random Black Guy

My apartment is literally above a stretch of bars and (sorta) clubs. So basically, I can go out really quickly on any given night. Juggernaut was around this particular night and told me he was going to be in my area for a little bit, so I get dressed and stroll over to the bar. Nothing much was going on there and it closed pretty soon after I arrived. On the way to the elevator out of the building, there was this bangin' cutie and her cutie friends. I hesitate, get in the elevator and try to forget about it. As I am walking out of the lobby after I got out of the elevator, I saw the bangin' cutie again. This is for me! I turn to walk back in the lobby, telling the bouncer I forgot something on my way in:

A (Assume, attract, and approach)
As I am walking up, I see this black guy talking to them. He doesn't look like he picked a target, so I am going to assume that the bangin' cutie is mine for the taking.

Tommy: I know I'm interrupting, and I apologize, but you are fuckin' adorable, who are you?
Bangin' Cutie: OMG! Thank you! That is so sweet!

I am still amazed that girls you say are "fuckin _______" think you're sweet.

B (Be in the moment, buying temperature, bantering)
Black guy started making comments about how I'm fuckin with their conversation. My eyes are locked in to my target, my body is locked in on the set, he can't touch me. The other girl is fun, she made some comments about my approach

Cutie's friend: So I'm not hot?
Tommy: I noticed her first. Not that you're not hot, I just happened to see her first.

Bangin' Cutie: Do you two know each other? (refering to the black guy)

I turn her shoulder so that she is facing only me and in a commanding tone:

Tommy: I came here to you. I don't know who he is and it really doesn't matter.

At this point, both the black guy and the other girl became spectators in my interaction. He's basically losing steam in his and can't hold his girl so he's watching me a bit.

I basically put my hands on the shoulder of my girl as I turn her 180 as I am walking so that I stay in front of her and her friend and the black guy are behind her (BLP bitches!) and we continue our conversation.

The other guy loses his girl and ejects. The other hottie didn't interrupt me at all.

Bangin' Cutie: My boyfriend is coming to pick me up now
Tommy: You can't get into that car.
Bangin' Cutie: Why not?
Tommy: Because we haven't fallin' in love yet
Bangin' Cutie: What if I'm already in love?
Tommy: I can wait..... I have about 10 seconds.
Bangin' Cutie: Haha....

That's about it. Her ride comes and she's gone. Oh well

____________________

Things I did well:
1) BLP
2) Kept a fun and flirty vibe during the B phase
3) Pushed beyond the boyfriend crap

Things I could have done better:
1) Approach earlier

FR 07/04/09: Solo Night Game in London

Been a while since I wrote one of these....

I'm here in London on a business trip and I've been aching to go out, but scared shitless to do so, but I feel I have to. How else would the women here have a chance with me? I wimped out on Friday night, but I did spot a nightclub I targeted for Saturday night called "Amika". Despite wimping out, I read some old 'Pump Action' field reports to get myself going. Saturday rolls around and I am on my way to the ATM near the club and I see this tall, hot, young-looking, brunette dressed to kill with her friend waiting to cross the same street I was crossing.

Being in a foreign land alone was tough for me, I never did much traveling in my life, so the assumption I made here was that they would be friendly.

Tommy: You two look excellent tonight
Girls: Thank you!

I made sure to give the hottie 60% eye contact and her friend 40%.

Nothing spectacular, just chatted with them as we crossed the street.

Hottie: You're American?
Me: Yea, I'm from New York.
Hottie: I loved New York
Me: Where are you from?
Hottie: Australia
Me: That must be why I can understand your English!
Hottie: haha

I went on to talk about how the British English is difficult for me. Anyway, this was me being in the moment, and just chatting along. I find out later that she is going to the same nightclub as me, awesome!

While I was in line for the night club, I started chatting with the 2 girls behind me. After a couple of minutes, I realized I was at a pretty exclusive place, and asked the ladies if they would let me join their group getting in. They were cool with it. Not only that, they asked me to join their group for a little bit, which was nice - instant social proof.

The hottie from earlier saw me with those two girls and smiled at me when we made eye contact as she was walking by. Nice! To be honest though, the first exchange on the street felt rather awkward, it made me feel weird about reapproaching, but in the words of Johnny Wolf "You don't know!"

This nightclub has a pretty damn good amount of quality girls, so I definitely recommend it. They also had some American theme decor (I also overheard that it was an independence day party)

At one point I was wandering around and happened to come across the hottie and started chatting with her.

Me: Cool place
Hottie: yea, but the drinks are crazy expensive
Me: already here, too late! (I bounce a bit to the music and I see her bouncing with me a bit)
Me: Do you have any moves?
Hottie: Maybe later when it gets more packed and I've had more to drink

I shake my head in disagreement and proceed to take her hand and spin her!

Forgot what happened after that, but she went off.

I see her later and say hi again, and she invites me to sit with her and her friend. I haven't really run a good nightclub set in some time now, and I knew for certain I had to do move forward in conversation topics and get more sexual. but seriously, I have no fuckin what I was doing in this country.

Woah! As I typed that, I realized that I could have easily gone into talking about traveling, seeing how I am traveling.... I'm an idiot.

As it turns out, we talked about culture. She jokingly said Americans are idiots (we elected George Bush, twice), and she made it clear that she did not ride a kangaroo to school when I asked what Australians did. I jokingly said I had to carry knives and guns to school in New York. She said that's something she would have believed. I asked her if she knew how to properly use a boomerang as a joke, and she said "Yea! I can use one of those!" Haha.

She got up to go to the bar with her friend. I saw her later and danced with her for just a bit. That was about it....

_____________________________________________

Things I did that I had never done before
1) Go to a nightclub in another country
2) Solo game at a nightclub

Things I did well
1) Keep my cool for a good portion of the night
2) Kept an open mind about meeting people
3) Solid on the approach, both in tonality and in body language

Things I could have done better
1) Spam comfort topics until one hit and go for it
2) Assume a comfort topic was going to work and go for it
3) Move the girl
4) Compliance test
5) Deal with the friends better

FR 05/01/09 - It's not about them, it's about me

On Friday night, I roll out with my friend Raven and did some bar hopping in the East Village. I went around to a couple of bars in the area, and it was tough. I went to a couple of really small bars and also this place called Phebe's.

Phebe's had a good amount of girls, but it was also quite loud and crowded. I did my usual tour, roamed around and talked to the cuties that crossed my path

Set 1:
Blow out

Set 2:
Polite exit

Set 3:
Blow out

Set 4:
Blow out

At this point, I was getting a little frustrated, like I didn't even get to game since I was not able to get past the first 20 seconds. Then I though to myself "it's not about them, it's about me". My self-worth, my evaluation of who I am should not be based on the reactions of 4 girls. I should always value myself more than the girls I am talking to. Given that, I decided to go and get blown out 3 more times before I go home and really soak it in.

Set 5:
Polite exit

Set 6:
Walking set - didn't stop walking

Set 7:
"You already approached my friend!" - Blow out

Well, I didn't get to 3 blow outs, but I did push myself despite the reactions I was getting. Based on that, I was pretty satisfied with myself. There will be nights like this, and it's nights like this where learn to value yourself above others. It's nights like this that forces you to embrace the fact that you are expressing yourself in the best manner possible and that's it's always about you, not about them.

FR 04/28/09 - Failed Compliance Test, Still Kissed the Girl

Back at it like a crack addict. I'm back in NYC, met up with my good friend Raven and we hit some bars. It's unseasonably warm, so the bars are not that packed (and it's a weekday). Eventually end up at this bar that has open bar every Tuesday, so we know there will be a crowd. Harsh blowouts, polite exits, harsh blowout again! Ouch, I wanted to go home. Raven calls me out on being an ego protecting little bitch, tells me this is the time to push yourself. I thought of this quote:

"Character is not made of sunshine and roses. Like steel, it is forged in fire, between the hammer and the anvil." - Chin-Ning Chu

At this very moment, I spotted a tall skinny sexy red head with long wavy hair (I actually had made eye contact with her 10 minutes ago) and just started walking.

Martyr - You are cute as hell. Who are you!?
TallSexyRedhead - I'm TallSexyRedhead

Martyr - You cannot come out looking like this, guys are going to come over and hit on you day and night
TallSexyRedhead - Well, you're the first tonight
Martyr - (Ignoring that comment) Why would you do this? What do you want from me? What are you out here for?

The first two questions were just banter and said more like a statement, and the third one is the actual question to move the conversation forward.

We talk some more about what she is up to, I drop in that this is my first time out since I came back from LA. She's there for a 21st b-day party and free drinks

This is where the verbal part gets a little fuzzy because we jumped around a lot of different topics. She said she's been in New York for 4 years, I tell her I can definitely tell. She says she's about to graduate, I guess that she is graduating from F.I.T., made a good guess, lucky me. I tell her I wanted to be a professional basketball player when I was 14 and tell her about how I still play in tournaments and leagues and I talk about that. She talks about soccer. I tell her I could definitely take her (creating the her and I dynamic). I tell her if she were blond I would think she was be like an LA girl - laid back, fun, etc. I talk about my recent trip and career aspirations.

Thinking back, I can't believe i went through all those topics.

At one point in there somewhere, we move to the bar. I tried to lead her by the hand, but she half ass complied. She held my hand in a limp way, and then dropped her hand altogether. This shit used to phase me a lot, but no longer. Now I just kept progressing the interaction. I can't quite explain why, but I think this actually spiked attraction.

They had glow sticks hanging, I wanted to grab one and give it to her. So I grabbed one, and told her I had a gift for her. Haha.

We chat more and she asks me who I came here with. I didn't realize at the time, but she's almost thinking logistically, which means i should already have been thinking logistically at this point. She tells me she should spend some time with the birthday girl, and that I should grab my friend and join them. I respond playfully:

Martyr - Oh, so our first date is over. That was fun.
TallSexyRedHead - No it isn't! Not unless we allow it to be.
Martyr - It's fine, we can go on a second date in 10 minutes or so.

I go in to kiss her on the lips. This was one of the rare times (I don't recall another one) where I went for it and a girl kissed me back, but it wasn't a makeout. I end the kiss and tell her we're saving some for our second date.

Not getting the makeout affected my state. She may have even noticed the sub-communications related to it. I became a little bitch, and didn't reapproach. I didn't even get her number (WTF!?)

Yea, that fuckin ego needs to be destroyed.

____________________________________________

Things I did that I had never done:
1) Not giving a shit when she didn't hold my hand

Things I did well
1) A lot of conversational topics related to her, me, or her and I
2) Discarded topics of conversation I didn't like

Things I could have done better
1) Not give a shit that I didn't get a makeout
2) Think logistically (pull, pull, pull!)
3) Not give a fuck and go back in set
4) Grab her phone number early on

FR 04/24/09 - Martyr visits LA and makes out with a Stripper

California is beautiful. You guys out there really made me work. I touched down around 1:20, got picked up and the schedule went like this:

2:00PM - Daygame at UCLA
3:30PM - Daygame at 3rd St Promenade
8:30PM - Dinner at UCLA Dining hall
10:00PM - Saddle Ranch, The Standard, some other bars on Sunset Blvd.
2:15PM - Mel's Diner

(Yes, I had my luggage in someone's car the entire time)

I felt like I was living the life of Neil Strauss.

Most of my sets were pretty good. Flirty, good energy, good vibes. Ray and Tank showed me some cool spots. I'm going to write about 2 of the sets I had.

____________________________________________


1) The set I bitch out:

I was at this divey bar and spotted this blond in red. Frickin hot. I walk over to her and run my mouth.

Not going to lie, beer helped me get into state. But whatever, first time in California

Martyr - You are fuckin adorable, who are you?
BlondinRed - Thank you! (I think she returned the compliment)
Martyr - I just got to LA, trying to enjoy myself, and here you are all adorable, making me come over to say hi, what are you doing to me? I'm only a man here!

She giggles, I'm in.

Just chilled out with her at the bar and told her what I was doing in LA, what I liked about the area.

She has this orbiting friend that was sitting on the other side of her, and because i had my back to the bar, he had to talk over her shoulder if he wanted to get into the conversation. Awesome.

We had already talked a little about what I was doing, so I asked her what she was up to. Before she could answer, I dropped in a quick cold read

Martyr - You are a creative type (credit Straycat)
BlondinRed - Yea I am! I'm a writer!

So at this point, I've already surveyed the area. There is a makeout area right around the corner, I just need to stop being a little pussy bitch, and I got this.

We vibe some more, and we're standing closer and closer. I tell her I have a tattoo on my back, which she demands to see and grabs at one of the buttons. I stop her telling her to chill out, I can undress myself. Show her the tattoo. We vibe some more, and now her lips are 3 inches from my face. I knew, I KNEW all I had to do was say, I have something else to show you, and take her around the corner and the makeout would be there. I completely bitched out. She even throws compliments at me here and there, however, I was still a little bitch

She says she needs to go to the bathroom, and walks. The orbiting friend says to me "did you creep her out already?". I sarcastically say "yea, absolutely". He ends up walking after her, I was too dumb (drunk?) at the time, but I realized later, he went to get her away from me because he was in danger of losing her to me.

I look around for her but it was too late, they had already left.

I meet up with Tank, and he saw the interaction occur, he gave me shit about not kissing her when she was 3 inches away, he told me about the extraction spot around the corner (which I already knew about). Yea, I was a little bitch....

____________________________________________


2) Gaming a stripper:

We go walking down Sunset Blvd, past this strip club named "Body Shop" and joked about going there after the sargathon is over. At the very next bar, I see this hot blond chick with fishnet gloves/sleeves and a bangin' body. Yea... this is mine, I want this.

Martyr - You are fuckin adorable. Who are you?
BanginBodyBlond - Who am I? Who are you!?
Martyr - You can't stand around looking like that, this is what is going to happen, I can't help but to come hit on you, I'm only a man here!
BanginBodyBlond - (laughing) My name is BanginBodyBlond. Did you follow me from that club?
Martyr - (Confused) No. What's up there? (I really forgot what I had walked past)
BanginBodyBlond - It's a club, I'm a dancer there, sometimes guys follow us down to here

Holy Shit! I am talking to a stripper, niiiiiiice!

She finishes her cigarette and we go inside for a drink. Immediately, I locate a good place to sit.

We grab our drinks and I lead her to a good spot to sit at. I tell her about why I am in LA, tell her I am visiting from NYC. She talks about how she wants to move there. Share some stories. She does the same. I do a cold read about her being someone creative. She tells me she aspires to be a stage actress. I talk about basketball and traveling.

Overall, we had a pretty flirty vibe. Flirty banter combined with a direct opener allowed her to know I was there with intent. She's in between shifts, so I'm kind of in a slight time crunch. Grab her number, and chat more.

BanginBodyBlond - What time is it? I think I have to get back to work
Martyr - It's [read my watch].
(she gets up)
BanginBodyBlond - You have my number, if you really are going to call me. (Weird, she doubts I want to call her, no idea why that's the case. If anyone has insight, please let me know.)
Martyr - I'll walk you out.

As we are walking, I grab her hand, and I ask her

Martyr - On a scale from one to ten, how good of a kisser are you?
BanginBodyBlond - That is something I am definitely very good at. Some other fluff. I would have to say I'm a 10.
Martyr - Excellent, come here. (As I say this, I am pulling her in with my arms and moving forward with my lips.)

Full blown makeout right outside the bar with a stripper. Niiiiice

Martyr - Pretty good, 9.5
BanginBodyBlond - Haha! (as she waves and goes back to work)

I have to be honest, I was surprised at how little I had to deviate from the game plan to for this interaction.

Job Hunting

I've been job hunting lately, and it hasn't been easy. I already do work full time, so I am not exactly starving for work, but I am however becoming more and more dissatisfied with my current job. I work 25 miles outside New York City (35 miles outside Manhattan) where I feel I am underpaid. In addition, recently the work has become repetitive and will continue to be that way for the foreseeable future.

Even though the economy is poor shape, I have been actively looking for employment in Manhattan. Being an engineer, Manhattan is not so great of a place. I also want to have a job that is related to sustainable energy. That actually is the reason I went back to graduate school and got my master's. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of that.

If anyone out there can suggest a field/industry I can look into in Manhattan for an engineering job related to sustainable energy, please let me know. Even if it doesn't relate to sustainable energy, please let me know.

I have 3 years of experience as an engineer spanning component design, flow and heat transfer simulation, and cooling delivery design.

I have a Bachelor's degree from Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute and a Master's degree from Stony Brook University, both in mechanical engineering.

Started a 30 day challenge

Hey everyone,

I started a 30 day challenge on March 24. I will be updating daily, the blog can be found at:

http://martyr30.blogspot.com/

Enjoy!

How much attraction do you need?

I don't like Mystery Method, and I don't like Magic Bullets (Love Systems) structure to game. I think by having a phase where your goal is to generate female to male attraction, you are automatically assuming that you need to demonstrate how attractive you are, and that in itself sub-communicates that you are of lower value. I know some will argue that girls have no idea who you are when you walk up to them, and that is reason enough to generate attraction, but I disagree. I think by walking up to them, you have already shown that you have balls. I think by assuming you deserve to talk to her demonstrates that you are someone who is self-assured. Of course, your body language and you vocal skills need to be congruent with what gets assumed, and that I think is the core essence of attraction.

How much attraction do you need? I think enough for her to let you keep conversing with her is all you need. I don't think attraction gets you laid. I think that enough for her to want to keep conversing with you, combined with your ability to lead an interaction towards sex or a relationship is what ultimately gets you what you want.

I've been told by my friends/wings that I don't do enough attraction material. They're right, but I am also trying to build myself up to be a person that doesn't need it. I do lose a lot of sets right off the bat because I go direct, and I don't have an elaborate routine stack ready to go. I also feel that there's enough hot girls that are cool with me walking up to them and hitting on them that it doesn't matter.

Like I said in an earlier post, I have this inner game issue where I am not used to having a lot of women in my life, and therefore I don't have a screening mentality. Because of that, I tend to talk a lot, and do a lot of bantering. I find that having routines ready to go (yes, I do have some routines, but not necessarily a stack) helps me to get through a conversation, however, I also get stuck talking at the girl, instead of conversing with her, finding out if I actually like her beyond her looks.

I was browsing some pickup blogs and I came across the following article. I like the internal reframes he listed on there, and I'm going to try to actively do these when I am interacting with girls.

http://www.kissntale.com/2008/12/31/thinking-the-natural-way/

Been Reading the Archives of the Asian Playboy

Some good posts:

http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2005/06/nature-of-verbal-game-old-article.html
http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2006/03/how-can-you-be-one-of-successful-pick.html

This is what happens when I get depressed and negative, I end up becoming a keyboard jockey. Don't worry, I will still be going out, and flirting with ladies. We'll see how this weekend goes.

Inner Game Issues

I have inner game issues. I don't know what exactly the inner game issue are but I have found the following symptoms of it:

I eject too early, especially when things are going well
I end up entertaining the girl too much, instead of building comfort and connection
I don't qualify girls enough, and it appears that a cute face is all I look for
I have an unwillingness to call/text a girl more than once, and I assume she doesn't want to talk to me
I am not aggressive enough
I end up enjoying the moment too much and forget about trying to get the girl

There's other symptoms as well, which I don't have off the top of my head, but I have noticed others. I don't know where the inner game issues stem from, which isn't too bad as long as I deal with these symptoms

I would also like to add that I can get a little manic depressive, and I want to thank all my friends for being able to put up with it.

FR 02/14/09 - 10 Seconds to Makeout - My First Asian

I was feeling good from the bantering (I only felt bad about how poor my comfort was after the weekend ended), so approaching was pretty easy that night. This is basically a cattle call approach

A (Assume, Approach, and Attract)
Saw Asian girl walk by with her friend. I say hi, and basically wait and assume they would stop walking.

Tommy - You are fuckin adorable
Asian Girl - Thank you!

Her friend is pulling her away, and I noticeably take notice of it.

Tommy - You know? Have a good night, maybe we'll chat later
Asian Girl - Awwwwwwe, thanks!

I go in to kiss her on the cheek and as I am going in, I think to myself, fuck it, and I start making out with her, at which point her friend really pulls her away.

10 seconds of talking, 5 seconds of making out. Pretty good ratio I think.

I never approach Asian girls, so I almost feel like a frat boy guy yelling "I had my first Asian!" Haha.

The next day I am on the phone with William recapping my weekend/stories. He tells me it sounds like I have been doing a lot of flash game. He was right....

Things I did that I had never done
1) Go for a makeout without any words to preface it

Things I did that well
1) Approach and Attract

Things I could have done better
1) Try to get laid

FR 02/14/09 - Tried to Take AFC Adam Lyons Set

Adam Lyons was having a bootcamp at my regular venue. One of his assistant coaches figured I was a community guy, and we chatted for a bit. Cool guys, the coaches and Adam Lyons. At one point, one of the assistant coaches asked me if I wanted to amog Adam, I said sure

A (Assume, Attract, Approach)
I walk over, and excuse myself from both the girl and Adam, and then I proceed to basically ignore Adam the rest of the set

"You are fucking Adorable, I wanted to come meet you"

B (Be in the Moment, Banter, Buying Temperature)
Chatted with the girl, got her to turn towards me. Adam just sits and chills.

C (Comfort, Connection, and Compliance)
I didn't try to move the girl because for whatever reason, I thought it would be more fun to game her with Adam in the audience. I basically ignored physical comfort and didn't test for or get any compliance.

D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualify)
I held her hand here and there, she said something cute, and I qualified her for it and kissed her on top of the head.

At some point, she looks back over to her friends. That's when Adam gets up and walks her over to them, I'm like wtf? I didn't try to reengage.

So what did I do wrong -
1) Didn't move her
2) Didn't BLP Adam away
3) Didn't build any connections
4) Didn't tone down the energy when I probably could have had compliance for it
5) Talked too much and didn't have her talk as much

Found out later that the whole time I was chatting with her, Adam was kinoing with his leg (he was seated and she was standing)

Things I did that I had never done
1) Tried to AMOG a pickup instructor

Things I did well
1) A and B were superb

Things I could have done better
1) Have a more complete interaction
2) Try to get the girl instead of running flash game

FR 02/14/09 - Escalate too Quickly and You Lose the Girl

Sometimes I can't believe how few mistakes I am allowed. Perhaps because I am really bad at damage control, I don't know.

A (Assume, Attract, Approach)
Say a cute blond with a sparkly dress. My friend went to the bar to order drinks. I go over to help him bring them back, but I don't. Instead, I take my beer and approach the tall blond

Tommy - You are fuckin adorable, I had to come over and say hi
HBTallBlond - Omg, thank you! (grabs my necklace) What's this?
Tommy - It's my necklace, and your name is?
HBTallBlond - I'm HBTallBlond
Tommy - What's your story tonight?
HBTallBlond - We're celebrating my friend's b-day
Tommy - Nice, you're going to be my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes (as I clawed her)
HBTallBlond - You want me to be your girlfriend? (beaming with a smile)
Tommy - If we ever break up though, I am keeping the DVD collection
HBTallBlond - You can't do that! I own most of them

During this time, I gave my hand for her to shake, did the "gentleman's grace", and then moved her hand from my right to my left, and we were holding hands within 30 seconds. Which was broken up during the claw, and then resumed shortly after.

I suppose that would be A going to B, and then quick D. So what is missing? Yep.... C

B (Be in the Moment, Bantering, and Buying Temperature)
It was a fun conversation. Played around with the role play some more. Learned some facebook type information from her (where from, activities, school)

Her friends would come in to check on her one at a time, and she would introduce me to her friends as her 10-minute boyfriend.

C (Comfort, Connection, and Compliance)
She plays xyz sport, which is something I love. I talked about how I played it, but I didn't really talk about why or what I get out of it. My C needs a lot of work.

D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualification)
Continued with the role play, but I should have toned down the energy as the interaction went on.

E (Evaluate, Escalate, and Extract)
She actually suggested I ditch my plans and go with her and her friends to this club they were going to after this bar visit early on in the interaction. Later on, I tried to talk about romance (forgot to tone the energy down when I did it though) and then talk about sex (which went really badly). I think a combination of factors fucked me up. Went into sexual topics too early (within 10 minutes), she was fairly young and perhaps not ready for that (she was 21), the energy was still fun and playful (need to control that shit). She became cold and I lost the set.

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Things I did that I had never done:
1) Hand holding within 30 seconds

Things I did well
1) Stick the approach

Things I could have done better
1) Calibrate to the situation on when to escalate
2) Spend time in C

FR 02/12/09 - "No Asian in Me, at Least Not in a While"

I roll out to this dive bar area where I used to go when I first started. When I first started, I would bounce bar to bar because I was too afraid to approach the one attractive girl that each bar would offer. Nowadays, I feel much better about that. I walked in and immediately see this girl with amazing breasts, and I knew I had to approach. I was too scared to initially so I kept walking to the back, got my beer, and went for it.

A (Assume, Approach, and Attract)
I saw some guys vulturing over her, and I knew if I went over there with them around, it would help me more. Actually, I didn't know, I just assumed that my approach would be stronger with an audience like that.
"Hi, you are fucking adorable, what is your story tonight?"

B (Be in the Moment, Banter, and Buying Temperature)
I was feeling good, so I just shared that vibe. I talked about how I don't care that I have work in the morning, I wanted to go out and have fun. She has a different work schedule, so this is actually her :Saturday night".

C (Comfort, Connect, and Compliance)
Found out she works at the xyz, which is interesting because this girl I knew from the 8th grade also works there, who apparently is friendly with her (small world). Light level connection. I decided to change threads. I asked about why she works at xyz, and then delved deeper into her love of abc. I was sloppy, and didn't try to find a connection with me. She kept a certain buffer in front of her, making kino a bit difficult.

B
Went back to B because I felt I needed more work here (I think I should have went deeper into C, this was a mistake). I told her that today I'm on my best behavior, and that I am actually a complete asshole. She didn't believe me, so I told her to try to be a bitch to me. She said she couldn't. So I tried to hold a serious face and called her a total bitch, she laughs.

"You're a total bitch, and I'm a complete asshole. We're perfect together"
I repeat this to her friend, and her friend agrees with me

D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualification)
I went for her number earlier, didn't get it. But kept gaming. I repeated that she was adorable at some point, after she made this laugh and kissed her on the top of the head.

I pick up her hand, ask her if she can dance, and then I have her do a little spin for me.

She tells me she hasn't has sex in a year in a half. Then she tells me she is seeing someone who is fighting in Iraq. Then she tells me she's been in a lot of serious relationships, and then she drops this one:

Earlier, she has told me she was half Italian, and the other half some mix.

Then this interaction happens:

Tommy: Okay, Italian girl who is part ..., ..., ...
HBChest: Irish, German.... No Asian, there's no Asian in me, at least not in a while

I was like.... whoa, nice to know! I tried to get her to go to a different bar with some friends and I. No dice. Tried to get her number. Failed. Didn't go for a kiss. So that's about all I have....

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Things I tried to do that I have never done
1) Tried to qualify a girl on whether or not she can dance

Things I did well
1) Ample amount of direct interest without being creepy

Things I could have done better
1) Too much direct interest without comfort
2) Be more persistent

FR 02/11/09 - 2 Minute Girlfriend

Hey everyone. This FR came as part of my 30 day challenge (this was night 6). It's been exhausting so far, but I am enjoying it. So here comes the FR:

I went to a bar last night near a college campus, and close to my parent's house where they still have a room for me. Nice atmosphere, young girls, and a lot of fratboy dudes. Anyway, made a bunch of approaches that sucked, no idea what I was doing wrong in them. Anyway, as I was moving, I noticed a girl about to pass me who I had already made fairly strong eye contact with earlier

For this girl, because of the type of eye contact we had already exchanged, I had already told myself that I was going to approach her when I saw her not waiting for beer, and I already knew this was going to blow open pretty easily.

We were walking in opposite directions, but about to cross paths.....

Martyr (kino open) - Hey (stopped walking, and assumed she would also stop walking)
HBCollege - Hello
Martyr - You (pause) cute as hell tonight.
HBCollege - Thank you! What is your name?

Touching barrier never existed. Touching during some small talk.

We both were straying away from our groups as they walked away from us, she had a friend come back to get her, who she blew off momentarily, but she still went back to them after some words with me.

When she would pass me on the dance floor, we did a little bit of dancing, some hand holding, and exchanged piercing eye contact combined with seductive smiling.

I didn't go much into comfort, I admit. I should have tried to sit her down. I did do some fun dominance and direct interest. At one point when she was chatting with 2 friends, I walked over to her and started talking (I really don't remember what I said). I told her to come meet my friends, and held out my hand behind me as I started walking away, which she took. I introduced her to my friends and told them that this is my girlfriend for the next 2 minutes (and "clawed her" RSD style!). She was completely into it, and role played a little. We held hands through much of this, and continued to hold hands every time we were chatting later that night.

Talked a little bit about having been in love in the past (not sure if this is such a good things to share but I thought it flowed at the time).

I noticed she knew a lot of the guys there and danced with a lot of them. I was cool about it, but I thought it would be fun to call her out on it.

Martyr - Is there any guy here you aren't flirting with?
HBCollege - I'm a flirt, it's my personality.
Martyr - And you're completely cool with it, I like that.

I was trying to qualify and also show that I wasn't affected at all not being the only guy she was chatting with.

Throughout the night, I kissed her on the top of the head and on the cheek a bunch of times, and she initiated it a bunch of times as well, so I will admit... I wimped out on going for a makeout.

Ended it with being kicked out of the dancing area (bar was closing). I walked up to her and extracted her from her group again. Told her we should chill again, and got her number.

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Things I tried that I had never done:
1) Work a set throughout the night through fragmented time intervals

Things I did well
1) Touching, eye contact, seductive glances
2) Qualified a girl beyond her looks (I haven't done that enough lately)
3) Comfortably danced with a stranger (I realized I had to learn how to dance, and at the very least try, so I've been working on doing it more lately)

Things I could have done better
1) Sit her down
2) More comfort
3) Didn't think about extraction at all

The Hammer, the Technique, and the Nailing

I thought of this analogy last night, and I found it really amusing so I'll post it here. In terms of getting girls, you can think of it as a hammer banging away at a nails.

1) Strike Frequency - this is how many times you approach a girl, how many times you try to make out with a girl, how many times you put yourself in a position to get a girl, etc. The more times you strike the hammer, the better your chances are at nailing.

2) Hammering Technique - the more times you strike, the more opportunities you have to improve your ability to strike. The more you analyze it (field reports), the more you see your mistakes. If you have outside help in analyzing it (wings, coaches), that also helps you to improve your technique. I suppose this is what you would call "game". This will optimize the amount of times you successfully nail given what you have to work with.

3) Your Hammer - This is what you have to work with - your existing identity, your physical appearance, your passions, your ambitions, your personality. If you have a really good tool to work with, then you wouldn't need to strike as often or as well. This part can also be worked on (lifestyle). So work on improving your tool if you want the nailing to be easier.

In real life, I know these are inter-related - if you're confident (hammer) then you will approach more often (strike frequency), if you are skillful in moving interactions forward (technique) then you will recognize and take opportunities more often (strike frequency), if you strike a lot and get lucky (strike frequency) then your confidence will improve (hammer).

However, my point is that all three aspects need to be improved upon, so pound away a ton, work on improving your ability to pound, work on making what you have to pound with better, and you'll end up nailing a lot.

FR 01/02/09 - Made Guy Get Desperate and Needy

William spotted this cute ass girl with dirty blond hair who showed up with an entourage of people, both guys and girls. He told me something I already knew - "Here comes the Long Island chick". He knows I like Long Island looking girls. I didn't approach her at the time, but after spotting her a couple more times that night, I didn't care who she was with, I wanted to go for that one. She was chatting with this guy at the time, and I was more than prepared for an amog battle. In fact, as I approached, I mentioned to Unreal - watch this guy try to tool me.

Martyr - Young Lady
HBDirtyBlonde - Yes?
Martyr - I noticed you about an hour ago, and I wanted to come say hi to you, and I didn't, but I'm here now, hi! You are totally gorgeous
HBDirtyBlonde - Thank you! I'm HBDirtyBlonde
Martyr - I'm Martyr

Notice how the guy was basically never in the picture. In fact, Unreal told me the guy watched me in astonishment, and eventually walked away to talk to some other friends.

I talked about my dislike of bars and nightclubs, however, they exist for me to interact with people. I told her she looked like a Long Island girl (she isn't).

Talked about New Years Resolutions. I shared mine, she shared hers, turns out hers is sports related. I told her about my basketball team, and how I am teaching my 14 year old cousin how to play tennis. She's asking me questions about my basketball team, and we talked about the sports she played growing up.

She gets pulled away from me by her friends (dammit! again tonight!). Anyway, I ended up talking to other girls, but I did notice her again later that night. The guy she was chatting with earlier has become as needy as a guy is going to get. He was ignoring the rest of the social group, followed her around, he was DETERMINED not to give me another window. I ended up chatting with other girls. Eventually, Unreal tells me she went over to coat check. Sure, I'll reapproach.

Walked over to her -
Martyr - Hey HBDirtyBlonde, I gotta tell you something
HBDirtyBlonde - Yes?
Martyr - I met this really sweet girl earlier and I completely forgot to ask her if she would go on a date with me
HBDirtyBlonde - Oh?
Martyr - Yes, would you go on a date with me?
HBDirtyBlonde (with hand on my chest) - Awe, I have a boyfriend
Martyr - That doesn't answer my question. Would you go on a date with me?
HBDirtyBlonde (with increasing amounts of touching between us) - I'm a good girl, but you'll find someone. I'll pinky swear on that.

Got a kiss on the cheek and that was about the end of it. I went for it, there is no way that guy orbiting her is her boyfriend, he can continue to waste time as he chooses.

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Things I did that I had never done
Approached a girl who was chatting with just one guy at a nightclub setting

Things I did well
Went right into rapport building.
Made the guy irrelevant

Things I could have done better
Not sure... I thought I was pretty solid.

Why Attraction Switch Stories Work

Hey everyone,

Why do attraction switch stories work? Personally, I don't truly believe that it's triggering the switches that gets the girl to be attracted to you. In fact, I believe that what gets you the girl is successfully LEADING an interaction, from approach to bantering to comfort to direct interest to escalation, and only that. However, I do believe that story telling is important in filling that time. It's important for the girl to know who you are, at some level. She may not need your life story, or even the story of your week, but she needs something to know that the guy she wants to sleep with is not a loser.

Noticed how I said she wants him to not be a loser, as opposed to the most attractive person she's met in a while. This is why I believe the demonstration of higher value stories work. As long as you follow the switches, you avoid being painted as a loser while letting her know you better. The following is a list of some attraction switches I try to hit when I tell my stories and the antithesis of those attraction switches.

1 - Passionate Man - Disinterested Man
2 - Pre-selected by Women - Deselected by Women
3 - Man with Future Ambitions - Man of No Desires
4 - Protector of Loved Ones - Destroyer of Loves Ones
5 - Man of Action - Man of Inaction
6 - Sense of Humor - Lack of Humor
7 - Energetic / Playful - Lethargic / Dull
8 - Financial Status - Financial Instability
9 - Experienced Man - Inexperienced Man
10 - Sexual Safety - Sexual Risk

Again, I don't think it's exactly the attraction switches that gets you the girl. I think it's letting her know who you are, while avoiding the antithesis of the attraction switches, while you lead an interaction, that gets you the girl. Guys who are naturally good with women naturally share who they are without having to keep the attraction switches in mind because they naturally avoid the antithesis of the attraction switches.

So for guys who are not naturally good in relating to women, try to alter stories that paint you as a loser (i.e. not following the attraction switches), and try to relate your experiences to others following the attraction switches. If you are not naturally good at improvising stories, then you need to sit down and figure out what you want the world (female world) to know about you, and then write down a couple of stories to tell to convey that. Use the attraction switches as a guideline to make sure you are not painting yourself in an unattractive way. You'll be amazed how much more people will respect you and be attracted to who you already are.

If you truly do not have stories about yourself that fall into attraction switch categories, you need to take a good hard look at who you are and consider working on that.