FR 02/14/09 - Escalate too Quickly and You Lose the Girl

Sometimes I can't believe how few mistakes I am allowed. Perhaps because I am really bad at damage control, I don't know.

A (Assume, Attract, Approach)
Say a cute blond with a sparkly dress. My friend went to the bar to order drinks. I go over to help him bring them back, but I don't. Instead, I take my beer and approach the tall blond

Tommy - You are fuckin adorable, I had to come over and say hi
HBTallBlond - Omg, thank you! (grabs my necklace) What's this?
Tommy - It's my necklace, and your name is?
HBTallBlond - I'm HBTallBlond
Tommy - What's your story tonight?
HBTallBlond - We're celebrating my friend's b-day
Tommy - Nice, you're going to be my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes (as I clawed her)
HBTallBlond - You want me to be your girlfriend? (beaming with a smile)
Tommy - If we ever break up though, I am keeping the DVD collection
HBTallBlond - You can't do that! I own most of them

During this time, I gave my hand for her to shake, did the "gentleman's grace", and then moved her hand from my right to my left, and we were holding hands within 30 seconds. Which was broken up during the claw, and then resumed shortly after.

I suppose that would be A going to B, and then quick D. So what is missing? Yep.... C

B (Be in the Moment, Bantering, and Buying Temperature)
It was a fun conversation. Played around with the role play some more. Learned some facebook type information from her (where from, activities, school)

Her friends would come in to check on her one at a time, and she would introduce me to her friends as her 10-minute boyfriend.

C (Comfort, Connection, and Compliance)
She plays xyz sport, which is something I love. I talked about how I played it, but I didn't really talk about why or what I get out of it. My C needs a lot of work.

D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualification)
Continued with the role play, but I should have toned down the energy as the interaction went on.

E (Evaluate, Escalate, and Extract)
She actually suggested I ditch my plans and go with her and her friends to this club they were going to after this bar visit early on in the interaction. Later on, I tried to talk about romance (forgot to tone the energy down when I did it though) and then talk about sex (which went really badly). I think a combination of factors fucked me up. Went into sexual topics too early (within 10 minutes), she was fairly young and perhaps not ready for that (she was 21), the energy was still fun and playful (need to control that shit). She became cold and I lost the set.

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Things I did that I had never done:
1) Hand holding within 30 seconds

Things I did well
1) Stick the approach

Things I could have done better
1) Calibrate to the situation on when to escalate
2) Spend time in C