I don't like Mystery Method, and I don't like Magic Bullets (Love Systems) structure to game. I think by having a phase where your goal is to generate female to male attraction, you are automatically assuming that you need to demonstrate how attractive you are, and that in itself sub-communicates that you are of lower value. I know some will argue that girls have no idea who you are when you walk up to them, and that is reason enough to generate attraction, but I disagree. I think by walking up to them, you have already shown that you have balls. I think by assuming you deserve to talk to her demonstrates that you are someone who is self-assured. Of course, your body language and you vocal skills need to be congruent with what gets assumed, and that I think is the core essence of attraction.
How much attraction do you need? I think enough for her to let you keep conversing with her is all you need. I don't think attraction gets you laid. I think that enough for her to want to keep conversing with you, combined with your ability to lead an interaction towards sex or a relationship is what ultimately gets you what you want.
I've been told by my friends/wings that I don't do enough attraction material. They're right, but I am also trying to build myself up to be a person that doesn't need it. I do lose a lot of sets right off the bat because I go direct, and I don't have an elaborate routine stack ready to go. I also feel that there's enough hot girls that are cool with me walking up to them and hitting on them that it doesn't matter.
Like I said in an earlier post, I have this inner game issue where I am not used to having a lot of women in my life, and therefore I don't have a screening mentality. Because of that, I tend to talk a lot, and do a lot of bantering. I find that having routines ready to go (yes, I do have some routines, but not necessarily a stack) helps me to get through a conversation, however, I also get stuck talking at the girl, instead of conversing with her, finding out if I actually like her beyond her looks.
I was browsing some pickup blogs and I came across the following article. I like the internal reframes he listed on there, and I'm going to try to actively do these when I am interacting with girls.
http://www.kissntale.com/2008/12/31/thinking-the-natural-way/
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Been Reading the Archives of the Asian Playboy
Some good posts:
http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2005/06/nature-of-verbal-game-old-article.html
http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2006/03/how-can-you-be-one-of-successful-pick.html
This is what happens when I get depressed and negative, I end up becoming a keyboard jockey. Don't worry, I will still be going out, and flirting with ladies. We'll see how this weekend goes.
http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2005/06/nature-of-verbal-game-old-article.html
http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2006/03/how-can-you-be-one-of-successful-pick.html
This is what happens when I get depressed and negative, I end up becoming a keyboard jockey. Don't worry, I will still be going out, and flirting with ladies. We'll see how this weekend goes.
Inner Game Issues
I have inner game issues. I don't know what exactly the inner game issue are but I have found the following symptoms of it:
I eject too early, especially when things are going well
I end up entertaining the girl too much, instead of building comfort and connection
I don't qualify girls enough, and it appears that a cute face is all I look for
I have an unwillingness to call/text a girl more than once, and I assume she doesn't want to talk to me
I am not aggressive enough
I end up enjoying the moment too much and forget about trying to get the girl
There's other symptoms as well, which I don't have off the top of my head, but I have noticed others. I don't know where the inner game issues stem from, which isn't too bad as long as I deal with these symptoms
I would also like to add that I can get a little manic depressive, and I want to thank all my friends for being able to put up with it.
I eject too early, especially when things are going well
I end up entertaining the girl too much, instead of building comfort and connection
I don't qualify girls enough, and it appears that a cute face is all I look for
I have an unwillingness to call/text a girl more than once, and I assume she doesn't want to talk to me
I am not aggressive enough
I end up enjoying the moment too much and forget about trying to get the girl
There's other symptoms as well, which I don't have off the top of my head, but I have noticed others. I don't know where the inner game issues stem from, which isn't too bad as long as I deal with these symptoms
I would also like to add that I can get a little manic depressive, and I want to thank all my friends for being able to put up with it.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
FR 02/14/09 - 10 Seconds to Makeout - My First Asian
I was feeling good from the bantering (I only felt bad about how poor my comfort was after the weekend ended), so approaching was pretty easy that night. This is basically a cattle call approach
A (Assume, Approach, and Attract)
Saw Asian girl walk by with her friend. I say hi, and basically wait and assume they would stop walking.
Tommy - You are fuckin adorable
Asian Girl - Thank you!
Her friend is pulling her away, and I noticeably take notice of it.
Tommy - You know? Have a good night, maybe we'll chat later
Asian Girl - Awwwwwwe, thanks!
I go in to kiss her on the cheek and as I am going in, I think to myself, fuck it, and I start making out with her, at which point her friend really pulls her away.
10 seconds of talking, 5 seconds of making out. Pretty good ratio I think.
I never approach Asian girls, so I almost feel like a frat boy guy yelling "I had my first Asian!" Haha.
The next day I am on the phone with William recapping my weekend/stories. He tells me it sounds like I have been doing a lot of flash game. He was right....
Things I did that I had never done
1) Go for a makeout without any words to preface it
Things I did that well
1) Approach and Attract
Things I could have done better
1) Try to get laid
A (Assume, Approach, and Attract)
Saw Asian girl walk by with her friend. I say hi, and basically wait and assume they would stop walking.
Tommy - You are fuckin adorable
Asian Girl - Thank you!
Her friend is pulling her away, and I noticeably take notice of it.
Tommy - You know? Have a good night, maybe we'll chat later
Asian Girl - Awwwwwwe, thanks!
I go in to kiss her on the cheek and as I am going in, I think to myself, fuck it, and I start making out with her, at which point her friend really pulls her away.
10 seconds of talking, 5 seconds of making out. Pretty good ratio I think.
I never approach Asian girls, so I almost feel like a frat boy guy yelling "I had my first Asian!" Haha.
The next day I am on the phone with William recapping my weekend/stories. He tells me it sounds like I have been doing a lot of flash game. He was right....
Things I did that I had never done
1) Go for a makeout without any words to preface it
Things I did that well
1) Approach and Attract
Things I could have done better
1) Try to get laid
FR 02/14/09 - Tried to Take AFC Adam Lyons Set
Adam Lyons was having a bootcamp at my regular venue. One of his assistant coaches figured I was a community guy, and we chatted for a bit. Cool guys, the coaches and Adam Lyons. At one point, one of the assistant coaches asked me if I wanted to amog Adam, I said sure
A (Assume, Attract, Approach)
I walk over, and excuse myself from both the girl and Adam, and then I proceed to basically ignore Adam the rest of the set
"You are fucking Adorable, I wanted to come meet you"
B (Be in the Moment, Banter, Buying Temperature)
Chatted with the girl, got her to turn towards me. Adam just sits and chills.
C (Comfort, Connection, and Compliance)
I didn't try to move the girl because for whatever reason, I thought it would be more fun to game her with Adam in the audience. I basically ignored physical comfort and didn't test for or get any compliance.
D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualify)
I held her hand here and there, she said something cute, and I qualified her for it and kissed her on top of the head.
At some point, she looks back over to her friends. That's when Adam gets up and walks her over to them, I'm like wtf? I didn't try to reengage.
So what did I do wrong -
1) Didn't move her
2) Didn't BLP Adam away
3) Didn't build any connections
4) Didn't tone down the energy when I probably could have had compliance for it
5) Talked too much and didn't have her talk as much
Found out later that the whole time I was chatting with her, Adam was kinoing with his leg (he was seated and she was standing)
Things I did that I had never done
1) Tried to AMOG a pickup instructor
Things I did well
1) A and B were superb
Things I could have done better
1) Have a more complete interaction
2) Try to get the girl instead of running flash game
A (Assume, Attract, Approach)
I walk over, and excuse myself from both the girl and Adam, and then I proceed to basically ignore Adam the rest of the set
"You are fucking Adorable, I wanted to come meet you"
B (Be in the Moment, Banter, Buying Temperature)
Chatted with the girl, got her to turn towards me. Adam just sits and chills.
C (Comfort, Connection, and Compliance)
I didn't try to move the girl because for whatever reason, I thought it would be more fun to game her with Adam in the audience. I basically ignored physical comfort and didn't test for or get any compliance.
D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualify)
I held her hand here and there, she said something cute, and I qualified her for it and kissed her on top of the head.
At some point, she looks back over to her friends. That's when Adam gets up and walks her over to them, I'm like wtf? I didn't try to reengage.
So what did I do wrong -
1) Didn't move her
2) Didn't BLP Adam away
3) Didn't build any connections
4) Didn't tone down the energy when I probably could have had compliance for it
5) Talked too much and didn't have her talk as much
Found out later that the whole time I was chatting with her, Adam was kinoing with his leg (he was seated and she was standing)
Things I did that I had never done
1) Tried to AMOG a pickup instructor
Things I did well
1) A and B were superb
Things I could have done better
1) Have a more complete interaction
2) Try to get the girl instead of running flash game
FR 02/14/09 - Escalate too Quickly and You Lose the Girl
Sometimes I can't believe how few mistakes I am allowed. Perhaps because I am really bad at damage control, I don't know.
A (Assume, Attract, Approach)
Say a cute blond with a sparkly dress. My friend went to the bar to order drinks. I go over to help him bring them back, but I don't. Instead, I take my beer and approach the tall blond
Tommy - You are fuckin adorable, I had to come over and say hi
HBTallBlond - Omg, thank you! (grabs my necklace) What's this?
Tommy - It's my necklace, and your name is?
HBTallBlond - I'm HBTallBlond
Tommy - What's your story tonight?
HBTallBlond - We're celebrating my friend's b-day
Tommy - Nice, you're going to be my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes (as I clawed her)
HBTallBlond - You want me to be your girlfriend? (beaming with a smile)
Tommy - If we ever break up though, I am keeping the DVD collection
HBTallBlond - You can't do that! I own most of them
During this time, I gave my hand for her to shake, did the "gentleman's grace", and then moved her hand from my right to my left, and we were holding hands within 30 seconds. Which was broken up during the claw, and then resumed shortly after.
I suppose that would be A going to B, and then quick D. So what is missing? Yep.... C
B (Be in the Moment, Bantering, and Buying Temperature)
It was a fun conversation. Played around with the role play some more. Learned some facebook type information from her (where from, activities, school)
Her friends would come in to check on her one at a time, and she would introduce me to her friends as her 10-minute boyfriend.
C (Comfort, Connection, and Compliance)
She plays xyz sport, which is something I love. I talked about how I played it, but I didn't really talk about why or what I get out of it. My C needs a lot of work.
D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualification)
Continued with the role play, but I should have toned down the energy as the interaction went on.
E (Evaluate, Escalate, and Extract)
She actually suggested I ditch my plans and go with her and her friends to this club they were going to after this bar visit early on in the interaction. Later on, I tried to talk about romance (forgot to tone the energy down when I did it though) and then talk about sex (which went really badly). I think a combination of factors fucked me up. Went into sexual topics too early (within 10 minutes), she was fairly young and perhaps not ready for that (she was 21), the energy was still fun and playful (need to control that shit). She became cold and I lost the set.
___________________________________
Things I did that I had never done:
1) Hand holding within 30 seconds
Things I did well
1) Stick the approach
Things I could have done better
1) Calibrate to the situation on when to escalate
2) Spend time in C
A (Assume, Attract, Approach)
Say a cute blond with a sparkly dress. My friend went to the bar to order drinks. I go over to help him bring them back, but I don't. Instead, I take my beer and approach the tall blond
Tommy - You are fuckin adorable, I had to come over and say hi
HBTallBlond - Omg, thank you! (grabs my necklace) What's this?
Tommy - It's my necklace, and your name is?
HBTallBlond - I'm HBTallBlond
Tommy - What's your story tonight?
HBTallBlond - We're celebrating my friend's b-day
Tommy - Nice, you're going to be my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes (as I clawed her)
HBTallBlond - You want me to be your girlfriend? (beaming with a smile)
Tommy - If we ever break up though, I am keeping the DVD collection
HBTallBlond - You can't do that! I own most of them
During this time, I gave my hand for her to shake, did the "gentleman's grace", and then moved her hand from my right to my left, and we were holding hands within 30 seconds. Which was broken up during the claw, and then resumed shortly after.
I suppose that would be A going to B, and then quick D. So what is missing? Yep.... C
B (Be in the Moment, Bantering, and Buying Temperature)
It was a fun conversation. Played around with the role play some more. Learned some facebook type information from her (where from, activities, school)
Her friends would come in to check on her one at a time, and she would introduce me to her friends as her 10-minute boyfriend.
C (Comfort, Connection, and Compliance)
She plays xyz sport, which is something I love. I talked about how I played it, but I didn't really talk about why or what I get out of it. My C needs a lot of work.
D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualification)
Continued with the role play, but I should have toned down the energy as the interaction went on.
E (Evaluate, Escalate, and Extract)
She actually suggested I ditch my plans and go with her and her friends to this club they were going to after this bar visit early on in the interaction. Later on, I tried to talk about romance (forgot to tone the energy down when I did it though) and then talk about sex (which went really badly). I think a combination of factors fucked me up. Went into sexual topics too early (within 10 minutes), she was fairly young and perhaps not ready for that (she was 21), the energy was still fun and playful (need to control that shit). She became cold and I lost the set.
___________________________________
Things I did that I had never done:
1) Hand holding within 30 seconds
Things I did well
1) Stick the approach
Things I could have done better
1) Calibrate to the situation on when to escalate
2) Spend time in C
FR 02/12/09 - "No Asian in Me, at Least Not in a While"
I roll out to this dive bar area where I used to go when I first started. When I first started, I would bounce bar to bar because I was too afraid to approach the one attractive girl that each bar would offer. Nowadays, I feel much better about that. I walked in and immediately see this girl with amazing breasts, and I knew I had to approach. I was too scared to initially so I kept walking to the back, got my beer, and went for it.
A (Assume, Approach, and Attract)
I saw some guys vulturing over her, and I knew if I went over there with them around, it would help me more. Actually, I didn't know, I just assumed that my approach would be stronger with an audience like that.
"Hi, you are fucking adorable, what is your story tonight?"
B (Be in the Moment, Banter, and Buying Temperature)
I was feeling good, so I just shared that vibe. I talked about how I don't care that I have work in the morning, I wanted to go out and have fun. She has a different work schedule, so this is actually her :Saturday night".
C (Comfort, Connect, and Compliance)
Found out she works at the xyz, which is interesting because this girl I knew from the 8th grade also works there, who apparently is friendly with her (small world). Light level connection. I decided to change threads. I asked about why she works at xyz, and then delved deeper into her love of abc. I was sloppy, and didn't try to find a connection with me. She kept a certain buffer in front of her, making kino a bit difficult.
B
Went back to B because I felt I needed more work here (I think I should have went deeper into C, this was a mistake). I told her that today I'm on my best behavior, and that I am actually a complete asshole. She didn't believe me, so I told her to try to be a bitch to me. She said she couldn't. So I tried to hold a serious face and called her a total bitch, she laughs.
"You're a total bitch, and I'm a complete asshole. We're perfect together"
I repeat this to her friend, and her friend agrees with me
D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualification)
I went for her number earlier, didn't get it. But kept gaming. I repeated that she was adorable at some point, after she made this laugh and kissed her on the top of the head.
I pick up her hand, ask her if she can dance, and then I have her do a little spin for me.
She tells me she hasn't has sex in a year in a half. Then she tells me she is seeing someone who is fighting in Iraq. Then she tells me she's been in a lot of serious relationships, and then she drops this one:
Earlier, she has told me she was half Italian, and the other half some mix.
Then this interaction happens:
Tommy: Okay, Italian girl who is part ..., ..., ...
HBChest: Irish, German.... No Asian, there's no Asian in me, at least not in a while
I was like.... whoa, nice to know! I tried to get her to go to a different bar with some friends and I. No dice. Tried to get her number. Failed. Didn't go for a kiss. So that's about all I have....
_________________________________________________________
Things I tried to do that I have never done
1) Tried to qualify a girl on whether or not she can dance
Things I did well
1) Ample amount of direct interest without being creepy
Things I could have done better
1) Too much direct interest without comfort
2) Be more persistent
A (Assume, Approach, and Attract)
I saw some guys vulturing over her, and I knew if I went over there with them around, it would help me more. Actually, I didn't know, I just assumed that my approach would be stronger with an audience like that.
"Hi, you are fucking adorable, what is your story tonight?"
B (Be in the Moment, Banter, and Buying Temperature)
I was feeling good, so I just shared that vibe. I talked about how I don't care that I have work in the morning, I wanted to go out and have fun. She has a different work schedule, so this is actually her :Saturday night".
C (Comfort, Connect, and Compliance)
Found out she works at the xyz, which is interesting because this girl I knew from the 8th grade also works there, who apparently is friendly with her (small world). Light level connection. I decided to change threads. I asked about why she works at xyz, and then delved deeper into her love of abc. I was sloppy, and didn't try to find a connection with me. She kept a certain buffer in front of her, making kino a bit difficult.
B
Went back to B because I felt I needed more work here (I think I should have went deeper into C, this was a mistake). I told her that today I'm on my best behavior, and that I am actually a complete asshole. She didn't believe me, so I told her to try to be a bitch to me. She said she couldn't. So I tried to hold a serious face and called her a total bitch, she laughs.
"You're a total bitch, and I'm a complete asshole. We're perfect together"
I repeat this to her friend, and her friend agrees with me
D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualification)
I went for her number earlier, didn't get it. But kept gaming. I repeated that she was adorable at some point, after she made this laugh and kissed her on the top of the head.
I pick up her hand, ask her if she can dance, and then I have her do a little spin for me.
She tells me she hasn't has sex in a year in a half. Then she tells me she is seeing someone who is fighting in Iraq. Then she tells me she's been in a lot of serious relationships, and then she drops this one:
Earlier, she has told me she was half Italian, and the other half some mix.
Then this interaction happens:
Tommy: Okay, Italian girl who is part ..., ..., ...
HBChest: Irish, German.... No Asian, there's no Asian in me, at least not in a while
I was like.... whoa, nice to know! I tried to get her to go to a different bar with some friends and I. No dice. Tried to get her number. Failed. Didn't go for a kiss. So that's about all I have....
_________________________________________________________
Things I tried to do that I have never done
1) Tried to qualify a girl on whether or not she can dance
Things I did well
1) Ample amount of direct interest without being creepy
Things I could have done better
1) Too much direct interest without comfort
2) Be more persistent
Thursday, February 12, 2009
FR 02/11/09 - 2 Minute Girlfriend
Hey everyone. This FR came as part of my 30 day challenge (this was night 6). It's been exhausting so far, but I am enjoying it. So here comes the FR:
I went to a bar last night near a college campus, and close to my parent's house where they still have a room for me. Nice atmosphere, young girls, and a lot of fratboy dudes. Anyway, made a bunch of approaches that sucked, no idea what I was doing wrong in them. Anyway, as I was moving, I noticed a girl about to pass me who I had already made fairly strong eye contact with earlier
For this girl, because of the type of eye contact we had already exchanged, I had already told myself that I was going to approach her when I saw her not waiting for beer, and I already knew this was going to blow open pretty easily.
We were walking in opposite directions, but about to cross paths.....
Martyr (kino open) - Hey (stopped walking, and assumed she would also stop walking)
HBCollege - Hello
Martyr - You (pause) cute as hell tonight.
HBCollege - Thank you! What is your name?
Touching barrier never existed. Touching during some small talk.
We both were straying away from our groups as they walked away from us, she had a friend come back to get her, who she blew off momentarily, but she still went back to them after some words with me.
When she would pass me on the dance floor, we did a little bit of dancing, some hand holding, and exchanged piercing eye contact combined with seductive smiling.
I didn't go much into comfort, I admit. I should have tried to sit her down. I did do some fun dominance and direct interest. At one point when she was chatting with 2 friends, I walked over to her and started talking (I really don't remember what I said). I told her to come meet my friends, and held out my hand behind me as I started walking away, which she took. I introduced her to my friends and told them that this is my girlfriend for the next 2 minutes (and "clawed her" RSD style!). She was completely into it, and role played a little. We held hands through much of this, and continued to hold hands every time we were chatting later that night.
Talked a little bit about having been in love in the past (not sure if this is such a good things to share but I thought it flowed at the time).
I noticed she knew a lot of the guys there and danced with a lot of them. I was cool about it, but I thought it would be fun to call her out on it.
Martyr - Is there any guy here you aren't flirting with?
HBCollege - I'm a flirt, it's my personality.
Martyr - And you're completely cool with it, I like that.
I was trying to qualify and also show that I wasn't affected at all not being the only guy she was chatting with.
Throughout the night, I kissed her on the top of the head and on the cheek a bunch of times, and she initiated it a bunch of times as well, so I will admit... I wimped out on going for a makeout.
Ended it with being kicked out of the dancing area (bar was closing). I walked up to her and extracted her from her group again. Told her we should chill again, and got her number.
____________________________________________________________________________
Things I tried that I had never done:
1) Work a set throughout the night through fragmented time intervals
Things I did well
1) Touching, eye contact, seductive glances
2) Qualified a girl beyond her looks (I haven't done that enough lately)
3) Comfortably danced with a stranger (I realized I had to learn how to dance, and at the very least try, so I've been working on doing it more lately)
Things I could have done better
1) Sit her down
2) More comfort
3) Didn't think about extraction at all
I went to a bar last night near a college campus, and close to my parent's house where they still have a room for me. Nice atmosphere, young girls, and a lot of fratboy dudes. Anyway, made a bunch of approaches that sucked, no idea what I was doing wrong in them. Anyway, as I was moving, I noticed a girl about to pass me who I had already made fairly strong eye contact with earlier
For this girl, because of the type of eye contact we had already exchanged, I had already told myself that I was going to approach her when I saw her not waiting for beer, and I already knew this was going to blow open pretty easily.
We were walking in opposite directions, but about to cross paths.....
Martyr (kino open) - Hey (stopped walking, and assumed she would also stop walking)
HBCollege - Hello
Martyr - You (pause) cute as hell tonight.
HBCollege - Thank you! What is your name?
Touching barrier never existed. Touching during some small talk.
We both were straying away from our groups as they walked away from us, she had a friend come back to get her, who she blew off momentarily, but she still went back to them after some words with me.
When she would pass me on the dance floor, we did a little bit of dancing, some hand holding, and exchanged piercing eye contact combined with seductive smiling.
I didn't go much into comfort, I admit. I should have tried to sit her down. I did do some fun dominance and direct interest. At one point when she was chatting with 2 friends, I walked over to her and started talking (I really don't remember what I said). I told her to come meet my friends, and held out my hand behind me as I started walking away, which she took. I introduced her to my friends and told them that this is my girlfriend for the next 2 minutes (and "clawed her" RSD style!). She was completely into it, and role played a little. We held hands through much of this, and continued to hold hands every time we were chatting later that night.
Talked a little bit about having been in love in the past (not sure if this is such a good things to share but I thought it flowed at the time).
I noticed she knew a lot of the guys there and danced with a lot of them. I was cool about it, but I thought it would be fun to call her out on it.
Martyr - Is there any guy here you aren't flirting with?
HBCollege - I'm a flirt, it's my personality.
Martyr - And you're completely cool with it, I like that.
I was trying to qualify and also show that I wasn't affected at all not being the only guy she was chatting with.
Throughout the night, I kissed her on the top of the head and on the cheek a bunch of times, and she initiated it a bunch of times as well, so I will admit... I wimped out on going for a makeout.
Ended it with being kicked out of the dancing area (bar was closing). I walked up to her and extracted her from her group again. Told her we should chill again, and got her number.
____________________________________________________________________________
Things I tried that I had never done:
1) Work a set throughout the night through fragmented time intervals
Things I did well
1) Touching, eye contact, seductive glances
2) Qualified a girl beyond her looks (I haven't done that enough lately)
3) Comfortably danced with a stranger (I realized I had to learn how to dance, and at the very least try, so I've been working on doing it more lately)
Things I could have done better
1) Sit her down
2) More comfort
3) Didn't think about extraction at all
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