FR 04/28/09 - Failed Compliance Test, Still Kissed the Girl

Back at it like a crack addict. I'm back in NYC, met up with my good friend Raven and we hit some bars. It's unseasonably warm, so the bars are not that packed (and it's a weekday). Eventually end up at this bar that has open bar every Tuesday, so we know there will be a crowd. Harsh blowouts, polite exits, harsh blowout again! Ouch, I wanted to go home. Raven calls me out on being an ego protecting little bitch, tells me this is the time to push yourself. I thought of this quote:

"Character is not made of sunshine and roses. Like steel, it is forged in fire, between the hammer and the anvil." - Chin-Ning Chu

At this very moment, I spotted a tall skinny sexy red head with long wavy hair (I actually had made eye contact with her 10 minutes ago) and just started walking.

Martyr - You are cute as hell. Who are you!?
TallSexyRedhead - I'm TallSexyRedhead

Martyr - You cannot come out looking like this, guys are going to come over and hit on you day and night
TallSexyRedhead - Well, you're the first tonight
Martyr - (Ignoring that comment) Why would you do this? What do you want from me? What are you out here for?

The first two questions were just banter and said more like a statement, and the third one is the actual question to move the conversation forward.

We talk some more about what she is up to, I drop in that this is my first time out since I came back from LA. She's there for a 21st b-day party and free drinks

This is where the verbal part gets a little fuzzy because we jumped around a lot of different topics. She said she's been in New York for 4 years, I tell her I can definitely tell. She says she's about to graduate, I guess that she is graduating from F.I.T., made a good guess, lucky me. I tell her I wanted to be a professional basketball player when I was 14 and tell her about how I still play in tournaments and leagues and I talk about that. She talks about soccer. I tell her I could definitely take her (creating the her and I dynamic). I tell her if she were blond I would think she was be like an LA girl - laid back, fun, etc. I talk about my recent trip and career aspirations.

Thinking back, I can't believe i went through all those topics.

At one point in there somewhere, we move to the bar. I tried to lead her by the hand, but she half ass complied. She held my hand in a limp way, and then dropped her hand altogether. This shit used to phase me a lot, but no longer. Now I just kept progressing the interaction. I can't quite explain why, but I think this actually spiked attraction.

They had glow sticks hanging, I wanted to grab one and give it to her. So I grabbed one, and told her I had a gift for her. Haha.

We chat more and she asks me who I came here with. I didn't realize at the time, but she's almost thinking logistically, which means i should already have been thinking logistically at this point. She tells me she should spend some time with the birthday girl, and that I should grab my friend and join them. I respond playfully:

Martyr - Oh, so our first date is over. That was fun.
TallSexyRedHead - No it isn't! Not unless we allow it to be.
Martyr - It's fine, we can go on a second date in 10 minutes or so.

I go in to kiss her on the lips. This was one of the rare times (I don't recall another one) where I went for it and a girl kissed me back, but it wasn't a makeout. I end the kiss and tell her we're saving some for our second date.

Not getting the makeout affected my state. She may have even noticed the sub-communications related to it. I became a little bitch, and didn't reapproach. I didn't even get her number (WTF!?)

Yea, that fuckin ego needs to be destroyed.

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Things I did that I had never done:
1) Not giving a shit when she didn't hold my hand

Things I did well
1) A lot of conversational topics related to her, me, or her and I
2) Discarded topics of conversation I didn't like

Things I could have done better
1) Not give a shit that I didn't get a makeout
2) Think logistically (pull, pull, pull!)
3) Not give a fuck and go back in set
4) Grab her phone number early on

FR 04/24/09 - Martyr visits LA and makes out with a Stripper

California is beautiful. You guys out there really made me work. I touched down around 1:20, got picked up and the schedule went like this:

2:00PM - Daygame at UCLA
3:30PM - Daygame at 3rd St Promenade
8:30PM - Dinner at UCLA Dining hall
10:00PM - Saddle Ranch, The Standard, some other bars on Sunset Blvd.
2:15PM - Mel's Diner

(Yes, I had my luggage in someone's car the entire time)

I felt like I was living the life of Neil Strauss.

Most of my sets were pretty good. Flirty, good energy, good vibes. Ray and Tank showed me some cool spots. I'm going to write about 2 of the sets I had.

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1) The set I bitch out:

I was at this divey bar and spotted this blond in red. Frickin hot. I walk over to her and run my mouth.

Not going to lie, beer helped me get into state. But whatever, first time in California

Martyr - You are fuckin adorable, who are you?
BlondinRed - Thank you! (I think she returned the compliment)
Martyr - I just got to LA, trying to enjoy myself, and here you are all adorable, making me come over to say hi, what are you doing to me? I'm only a man here!

She giggles, I'm in.

Just chilled out with her at the bar and told her what I was doing in LA, what I liked about the area.

She has this orbiting friend that was sitting on the other side of her, and because i had my back to the bar, he had to talk over her shoulder if he wanted to get into the conversation. Awesome.

We had already talked a little about what I was doing, so I asked her what she was up to. Before she could answer, I dropped in a quick cold read

Martyr - You are a creative type (credit Straycat)
BlondinRed - Yea I am! I'm a writer!

So at this point, I've already surveyed the area. There is a makeout area right around the corner, I just need to stop being a little pussy bitch, and I got this.

We vibe some more, and we're standing closer and closer. I tell her I have a tattoo on my back, which she demands to see and grabs at one of the buttons. I stop her telling her to chill out, I can undress myself. Show her the tattoo. We vibe some more, and now her lips are 3 inches from my face. I knew, I KNEW all I had to do was say, I have something else to show you, and take her around the corner and the makeout would be there. I completely bitched out. She even throws compliments at me here and there, however, I was still a little bitch

She says she needs to go to the bathroom, and walks. The orbiting friend says to me "did you creep her out already?". I sarcastically say "yea, absolutely". He ends up walking after her, I was too dumb (drunk?) at the time, but I realized later, he went to get her away from me because he was in danger of losing her to me.

I look around for her but it was too late, they had already left.

I meet up with Tank, and he saw the interaction occur, he gave me shit about not kissing her when she was 3 inches away, he told me about the extraction spot around the corner (which I already knew about). Yea, I was a little bitch....

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2) Gaming a stripper:

We go walking down Sunset Blvd, past this strip club named "Body Shop" and joked about going there after the sargathon is over. At the very next bar, I see this hot blond chick with fishnet gloves/sleeves and a bangin' body. Yea... this is mine, I want this.

Martyr - You are fuckin adorable. Who are you?
BanginBodyBlond - Who am I? Who are you!?
Martyr - You can't stand around looking like that, this is what is going to happen, I can't help but to come hit on you, I'm only a man here!
BanginBodyBlond - (laughing) My name is BanginBodyBlond. Did you follow me from that club?
Martyr - (Confused) No. What's up there? (I really forgot what I had walked past)
BanginBodyBlond - It's a club, I'm a dancer there, sometimes guys follow us down to here

Holy Shit! I am talking to a stripper, niiiiiiice!

She finishes her cigarette and we go inside for a drink. Immediately, I locate a good place to sit.

We grab our drinks and I lead her to a good spot to sit at. I tell her about why I am in LA, tell her I am visiting from NYC. She talks about how she wants to move there. Share some stories. She does the same. I do a cold read about her being someone creative. She tells me she aspires to be a stage actress. I talk about basketball and traveling.

Overall, we had a pretty flirty vibe. Flirty banter combined with a direct opener allowed her to know I was there with intent. She's in between shifts, so I'm kind of in a slight time crunch. Grab her number, and chat more.

BanginBodyBlond - What time is it? I think I have to get back to work
Martyr - It's [read my watch].
(she gets up)
BanginBodyBlond - You have my number, if you really are going to call me. (Weird, she doubts I want to call her, no idea why that's the case. If anyone has insight, please let me know.)
Martyr - I'll walk you out.

As we are walking, I grab her hand, and I ask her

Martyr - On a scale from one to ten, how good of a kisser are you?
BanginBodyBlond - That is something I am definitely very good at. Some other fluff. I would have to say I'm a 10.
Martyr - Excellent, come here. (As I say this, I am pulling her in with my arms and moving forward with my lips.)

Full blown makeout right outside the bar with a stripper. Niiiiice

Martyr - Pretty good, 9.5
BanginBodyBlond - Haha! (as she waves and goes back to work)

I have to be honest, I was surprised at how little I had to deviate from the game plan to for this interaction.

Job Hunting

I've been job hunting lately, and it hasn't been easy. I already do work full time, so I am not exactly starving for work, but I am however becoming more and more dissatisfied with my current job. I work 25 miles outside New York City (35 miles outside Manhattan) where I feel I am underpaid. In addition, recently the work has become repetitive and will continue to be that way for the foreseeable future.

Even though the economy is poor shape, I have been actively looking for employment in Manhattan. Being an engineer, Manhattan is not so great of a place. I also want to have a job that is related to sustainable energy. That actually is the reason I went back to graduate school and got my master's. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of that.

If anyone out there can suggest a field/industry I can look into in Manhattan for an engineering job related to sustainable energy, please let me know. Even if it doesn't relate to sustainable energy, please let me know.

I have 3 years of experience as an engineer spanning component design, flow and heat transfer simulation, and cooling delivery design.

I have a Bachelor's degree from Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute and a Master's degree from Stony Brook University, both in mechanical engineering.

Started a 30 day challenge

Hey everyone,

I started a 30 day challenge on March 24. I will be updating daily, the blog can be found at:

http://martyr30.blogspot.com/

Enjoy!

How much attraction do you need?

I don't like Mystery Method, and I don't like Magic Bullets (Love Systems) structure to game. I think by having a phase where your goal is to generate female to male attraction, you are automatically assuming that you need to demonstrate how attractive you are, and that in itself sub-communicates that you are of lower value. I know some will argue that girls have no idea who you are when you walk up to them, and that is reason enough to generate attraction, but I disagree. I think by walking up to them, you have already shown that you have balls. I think by assuming you deserve to talk to her demonstrates that you are someone who is self-assured. Of course, your body language and you vocal skills need to be congruent with what gets assumed, and that I think is the core essence of attraction.

How much attraction do you need? I think enough for her to let you keep conversing with her is all you need. I don't think attraction gets you laid. I think that enough for her to want to keep conversing with you, combined with your ability to lead an interaction towards sex or a relationship is what ultimately gets you what you want.

I've been told by my friends/wings that I don't do enough attraction material. They're right, but I am also trying to build myself up to be a person that doesn't need it. I do lose a lot of sets right off the bat because I go direct, and I don't have an elaborate routine stack ready to go. I also feel that there's enough hot girls that are cool with me walking up to them and hitting on them that it doesn't matter.

Like I said in an earlier post, I have this inner game issue where I am not used to having a lot of women in my life, and therefore I don't have a screening mentality. Because of that, I tend to talk a lot, and do a lot of bantering. I find that having routines ready to go (yes, I do have some routines, but not necessarily a stack) helps me to get through a conversation, however, I also get stuck talking at the girl, instead of conversing with her, finding out if I actually like her beyond her looks.

I was browsing some pickup blogs and I came across the following article. I like the internal reframes he listed on there, and I'm going to try to actively do these when I am interacting with girls.

http://www.kissntale.com/2008/12/31/thinking-the-natural-way/

Been Reading the Archives of the Asian Playboy

Some good posts:

http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2005/06/nature-of-verbal-game-old-article.html
http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2006/03/how-can-you-be-one-of-successful-pick.html

This is what happens when I get depressed and negative, I end up becoming a keyboard jockey. Don't worry, I will still be going out, and flirting with ladies. We'll see how this weekend goes.

Inner Game Issues

I have inner game issues. I don't know what exactly the inner game issue are but I have found the following symptoms of it:

I eject too early, especially when things are going well
I end up entertaining the girl too much, instead of building comfort and connection
I don't qualify girls enough, and it appears that a cute face is all I look for
I have an unwillingness to call/text a girl more than once, and I assume she doesn't want to talk to me
I am not aggressive enough
I end up enjoying the moment too much and forget about trying to get the girl

There's other symptoms as well, which I don't have off the top of my head, but I have noticed others. I don't know where the inner game issues stem from, which isn't too bad as long as I deal with these symptoms

I would also like to add that I can get a little manic depressive, and I want to thank all my friends for being able to put up with it.