Adam Lyons was having a bootcamp at my regular venue. One of his assistant coaches figured I was a community guy, and we chatted for a bit. Cool guys, the coaches and Adam Lyons. At one point, one of the assistant coaches asked me if I wanted to amog Adam, I said sure
A (Assume, Attract, Approach)
I walk over, and excuse myself from both the girl and Adam, and then I proceed to basically ignore Adam the rest of the set
"You are fucking Adorable, I wanted to come meet you"
B (Be in the Moment, Banter, Buying Temperature)
Chatted with the girl, got her to turn towards me. Adam just sits and chills.
C (Comfort, Connection, and Compliance)
I didn't try to move the girl because for whatever reason, I thought it would be more fun to game her with Adam in the audience. I basically ignored physical comfort and didn't test for or get any compliance.
D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualify)
I held her hand here and there, she said something cute, and I qualified her for it and kissed her on top of the head.
At some point, she looks back over to her friends. That's when Adam gets up and walks her over to them, I'm like wtf? I didn't try to reengage.
So what did I do wrong -
1) Didn't move her
2) Didn't BLP Adam away
3) Didn't build any connections
4) Didn't tone down the energy when I probably could have had compliance for it
5) Talked too much and didn't have her talk as much
Found out later that the whole time I was chatting with her, Adam was kinoing with his leg (he was seated and she was standing)
Things I did that I had never done
1) Tried to AMOG a pickup instructor
Things I did well
1) A and B were superb
Things I could have done better
1) Have a more complete interaction
2) Try to get the girl instead of running flash game
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
FR 02/14/09 - Escalate too Quickly and You Lose the Girl
Sometimes I can't believe how few mistakes I am allowed. Perhaps because I am really bad at damage control, I don't know.
A (Assume, Attract, Approach)
Say a cute blond with a sparkly dress. My friend went to the bar to order drinks. I go over to help him bring them back, but I don't. Instead, I take my beer and approach the tall blond
Tommy - You are fuckin adorable, I had to come over and say hi
HBTallBlond - Omg, thank you! (grabs my necklace) What's this?
Tommy - It's my necklace, and your name is?
HBTallBlond - I'm HBTallBlond
Tommy - What's your story tonight?
HBTallBlond - We're celebrating my friend's b-day
Tommy - Nice, you're going to be my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes (as I clawed her)
HBTallBlond - You want me to be your girlfriend? (beaming with a smile)
Tommy - If we ever break up though, I am keeping the DVD collection
HBTallBlond - You can't do that! I own most of them
During this time, I gave my hand for her to shake, did the "gentleman's grace", and then moved her hand from my right to my left, and we were holding hands within 30 seconds. Which was broken up during the claw, and then resumed shortly after.
I suppose that would be A going to B, and then quick D. So what is missing? Yep.... C
B (Be in the Moment, Bantering, and Buying Temperature)
It was a fun conversation. Played around with the role play some more. Learned some facebook type information from her (where from, activities, school)
Her friends would come in to check on her one at a time, and she would introduce me to her friends as her 10-minute boyfriend.
C (Comfort, Connection, and Compliance)
She plays xyz sport, which is something I love. I talked about how I played it, but I didn't really talk about why or what I get out of it. My C needs a lot of work.
D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualification)
Continued with the role play, but I should have toned down the energy as the interaction went on.
E (Evaluate, Escalate, and Extract)
She actually suggested I ditch my plans and go with her and her friends to this club they were going to after this bar visit early on in the interaction. Later on, I tried to talk about romance (forgot to tone the energy down when I did it though) and then talk about sex (which went really badly). I think a combination of factors fucked me up. Went into sexual topics too early (within 10 minutes), she was fairly young and perhaps not ready for that (she was 21), the energy was still fun and playful (need to control that shit). She became cold and I lost the set.
___________________________________
Things I did that I had never done:
1) Hand holding within 30 seconds
Things I did well
1) Stick the approach
Things I could have done better
1) Calibrate to the situation on when to escalate
2) Spend time in C
A (Assume, Attract, Approach)
Say a cute blond with a sparkly dress. My friend went to the bar to order drinks. I go over to help him bring them back, but I don't. Instead, I take my beer and approach the tall blond
Tommy - You are fuckin adorable, I had to come over and say hi
HBTallBlond - Omg, thank you! (grabs my necklace) What's this?
Tommy - It's my necklace, and your name is?
HBTallBlond - I'm HBTallBlond
Tommy - What's your story tonight?
HBTallBlond - We're celebrating my friend's b-day
Tommy - Nice, you're going to be my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes (as I clawed her)
HBTallBlond - You want me to be your girlfriend? (beaming with a smile)
Tommy - If we ever break up though, I am keeping the DVD collection
HBTallBlond - You can't do that! I own most of them
During this time, I gave my hand for her to shake, did the "gentleman's grace", and then moved her hand from my right to my left, and we were holding hands within 30 seconds. Which was broken up during the claw, and then resumed shortly after.
I suppose that would be A going to B, and then quick D. So what is missing? Yep.... C
B (Be in the Moment, Bantering, and Buying Temperature)
It was a fun conversation. Played around with the role play some more. Learned some facebook type information from her (where from, activities, school)
Her friends would come in to check on her one at a time, and she would introduce me to her friends as her 10-minute boyfriend.
C (Comfort, Connection, and Compliance)
She plays xyz sport, which is something I love. I talked about how I played it, but I didn't really talk about why or what I get out of it. My C needs a lot of work.
D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualification)
Continued with the role play, but I should have toned down the energy as the interaction went on.
E (Evaluate, Escalate, and Extract)
She actually suggested I ditch my plans and go with her and her friends to this club they were going to after this bar visit early on in the interaction. Later on, I tried to talk about romance (forgot to tone the energy down when I did it though) and then talk about sex (which went really badly). I think a combination of factors fucked me up. Went into sexual topics too early (within 10 minutes), she was fairly young and perhaps not ready for that (she was 21), the energy was still fun and playful (need to control that shit). She became cold and I lost the set.
___________________________________
Things I did that I had never done:
1) Hand holding within 30 seconds
Things I did well
1) Stick the approach
Things I could have done better
1) Calibrate to the situation on when to escalate
2) Spend time in C
FR 02/12/09 - "No Asian in Me, at Least Not in a While"
I roll out to this dive bar area where I used to go when I first started. When I first started, I would bounce bar to bar because I was too afraid to approach the one attractive girl that each bar would offer. Nowadays, I feel much better about that. I walked in and immediately see this girl with amazing breasts, and I knew I had to approach. I was too scared to initially so I kept walking to the back, got my beer, and went for it.
A (Assume, Approach, and Attract)
I saw some guys vulturing over her, and I knew if I went over there with them around, it would help me more. Actually, I didn't know, I just assumed that my approach would be stronger with an audience like that.
"Hi, you are fucking adorable, what is your story tonight?"
B (Be in the Moment, Banter, and Buying Temperature)
I was feeling good, so I just shared that vibe. I talked about how I don't care that I have work in the morning, I wanted to go out and have fun. She has a different work schedule, so this is actually her :Saturday night".
C (Comfort, Connect, and Compliance)
Found out she works at the xyz, which is interesting because this girl I knew from the 8th grade also works there, who apparently is friendly with her (small world). Light level connection. I decided to change threads. I asked about why she works at xyz, and then delved deeper into her love of abc. I was sloppy, and didn't try to find a connection with me. She kept a certain buffer in front of her, making kino a bit difficult.
B
Went back to B because I felt I needed more work here (I think I should have went deeper into C, this was a mistake). I told her that today I'm on my best behavior, and that I am actually a complete asshole. She didn't believe me, so I told her to try to be a bitch to me. She said she couldn't. So I tried to hold a serious face and called her a total bitch, she laughs.
"You're a total bitch, and I'm a complete asshole. We're perfect together"
I repeat this to her friend, and her friend agrees with me
D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualification)
I went for her number earlier, didn't get it. But kept gaming. I repeated that she was adorable at some point, after she made this laugh and kissed her on the top of the head.
I pick up her hand, ask her if she can dance, and then I have her do a little spin for me.
She tells me she hasn't has sex in a year in a half. Then she tells me she is seeing someone who is fighting in Iraq. Then she tells me she's been in a lot of serious relationships, and then she drops this one:
Earlier, she has told me she was half Italian, and the other half some mix.
Then this interaction happens:
Tommy: Okay, Italian girl who is part ..., ..., ...
HBChest: Irish, German.... No Asian, there's no Asian in me, at least not in a while
I was like.... whoa, nice to know! I tried to get her to go to a different bar with some friends and I. No dice. Tried to get her number. Failed. Didn't go for a kiss. So that's about all I have....
_________________________________________________________
Things I tried to do that I have never done
1) Tried to qualify a girl on whether or not she can dance
Things I did well
1) Ample amount of direct interest without being creepy
Things I could have done better
1) Too much direct interest without comfort
2) Be more persistent
A (Assume, Approach, and Attract)
I saw some guys vulturing over her, and I knew if I went over there with them around, it would help me more. Actually, I didn't know, I just assumed that my approach would be stronger with an audience like that.
"Hi, you are fucking adorable, what is your story tonight?"
B (Be in the Moment, Banter, and Buying Temperature)
I was feeling good, so I just shared that vibe. I talked about how I don't care that I have work in the morning, I wanted to go out and have fun. She has a different work schedule, so this is actually her :Saturday night".
C (Comfort, Connect, and Compliance)
Found out she works at the xyz, which is interesting because this girl I knew from the 8th grade also works there, who apparently is friendly with her (small world). Light level connection. I decided to change threads. I asked about why she works at xyz, and then delved deeper into her love of abc. I was sloppy, and didn't try to find a connection with me. She kept a certain buffer in front of her, making kino a bit difficult.
B
Went back to B because I felt I needed more work here (I think I should have went deeper into C, this was a mistake). I told her that today I'm on my best behavior, and that I am actually a complete asshole. She didn't believe me, so I told her to try to be a bitch to me. She said she couldn't. So I tried to hold a serious face and called her a total bitch, she laughs.
"You're a total bitch, and I'm a complete asshole. We're perfect together"
I repeat this to her friend, and her friend agrees with me
D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualification)
I went for her number earlier, didn't get it. But kept gaming. I repeated that she was adorable at some point, after she made this laugh and kissed her on the top of the head.
I pick up her hand, ask her if she can dance, and then I have her do a little spin for me.
She tells me she hasn't has sex in a year in a half. Then she tells me she is seeing someone who is fighting in Iraq. Then she tells me she's been in a lot of serious relationships, and then she drops this one:
Earlier, she has told me she was half Italian, and the other half some mix.
Then this interaction happens:
Tommy: Okay, Italian girl who is part ..., ..., ...
HBChest: Irish, German.... No Asian, there's no Asian in me, at least not in a while
I was like.... whoa, nice to know! I tried to get her to go to a different bar with some friends and I. No dice. Tried to get her number. Failed. Didn't go for a kiss. So that's about all I have....
_________________________________________________________
Things I tried to do that I have never done
1) Tried to qualify a girl on whether or not she can dance
Things I did well
1) Ample amount of direct interest without being creepy
Things I could have done better
1) Too much direct interest without comfort
2) Be more persistent
Thursday, February 12, 2009
FR 02/11/09 - 2 Minute Girlfriend
Hey everyone. This FR came as part of my 30 day challenge (this was night 6). It's been exhausting so far, but I am enjoying it. So here comes the FR:
I went to a bar last night near a college campus, and close to my parent's house where they still have a room for me. Nice atmosphere, young girls, and a lot of fratboy dudes. Anyway, made a bunch of approaches that sucked, no idea what I was doing wrong in them. Anyway, as I was moving, I noticed a girl about to pass me who I had already made fairly strong eye contact with earlier
For this girl, because of the type of eye contact we had already exchanged, I had already told myself that I was going to approach her when I saw her not waiting for beer, and I already knew this was going to blow open pretty easily.
We were walking in opposite directions, but about to cross paths.....
Martyr (kino open) - Hey (stopped walking, and assumed she would also stop walking)
HBCollege - Hello
Martyr - You (pause) cute as hell tonight.
HBCollege - Thank you! What is your name?
Touching barrier never existed. Touching during some small talk.
We both were straying away from our groups as they walked away from us, she had a friend come back to get her, who she blew off momentarily, but she still went back to them after some words with me.
When she would pass me on the dance floor, we did a little bit of dancing, some hand holding, and exchanged piercing eye contact combined with seductive smiling.
I didn't go much into comfort, I admit. I should have tried to sit her down. I did do some fun dominance and direct interest. At one point when she was chatting with 2 friends, I walked over to her and started talking (I really don't remember what I said). I told her to come meet my friends, and held out my hand behind me as I started walking away, which she took. I introduced her to my friends and told them that this is my girlfriend for the next 2 minutes (and "clawed her" RSD style!). She was completely into it, and role played a little. We held hands through much of this, and continued to hold hands every time we were chatting later that night.
Talked a little bit about having been in love in the past (not sure if this is such a good things to share but I thought it flowed at the time).
I noticed she knew a lot of the guys there and danced with a lot of them. I was cool about it, but I thought it would be fun to call her out on it.
Martyr - Is there any guy here you aren't flirting with?
HBCollege - I'm a flirt, it's my personality.
Martyr - And you're completely cool with it, I like that.
I was trying to qualify and also show that I wasn't affected at all not being the only guy she was chatting with.
Throughout the night, I kissed her on the top of the head and on the cheek a bunch of times, and she initiated it a bunch of times as well, so I will admit... I wimped out on going for a makeout.
Ended it with being kicked out of the dancing area (bar was closing). I walked up to her and extracted her from her group again. Told her we should chill again, and got her number.
____________________________________________________________________________
Things I tried that I had never done:
1) Work a set throughout the night through fragmented time intervals
Things I did well
1) Touching, eye contact, seductive glances
2) Qualified a girl beyond her looks (I haven't done that enough lately)
3) Comfortably danced with a stranger (I realized I had to learn how to dance, and at the very least try, so I've been working on doing it more lately)
Things I could have done better
1) Sit her down
2) More comfort
3) Didn't think about extraction at all
I went to a bar last night near a college campus, and close to my parent's house where they still have a room for me. Nice atmosphere, young girls, and a lot of fratboy dudes. Anyway, made a bunch of approaches that sucked, no idea what I was doing wrong in them. Anyway, as I was moving, I noticed a girl about to pass me who I had already made fairly strong eye contact with earlier
For this girl, because of the type of eye contact we had already exchanged, I had already told myself that I was going to approach her when I saw her not waiting for beer, and I already knew this was going to blow open pretty easily.
We were walking in opposite directions, but about to cross paths.....
Martyr (kino open) - Hey (stopped walking, and assumed she would also stop walking)
HBCollege - Hello
Martyr - You (pause) cute as hell tonight.
HBCollege - Thank you! What is your name?
Touching barrier never existed. Touching during some small talk.
We both were straying away from our groups as they walked away from us, she had a friend come back to get her, who she blew off momentarily, but she still went back to them after some words with me.
When she would pass me on the dance floor, we did a little bit of dancing, some hand holding, and exchanged piercing eye contact combined with seductive smiling.
I didn't go much into comfort, I admit. I should have tried to sit her down. I did do some fun dominance and direct interest. At one point when she was chatting with 2 friends, I walked over to her and started talking (I really don't remember what I said). I told her to come meet my friends, and held out my hand behind me as I started walking away, which she took. I introduced her to my friends and told them that this is my girlfriend for the next 2 minutes (and "clawed her" RSD style!). She was completely into it, and role played a little. We held hands through much of this, and continued to hold hands every time we were chatting later that night.
Talked a little bit about having been in love in the past (not sure if this is such a good things to share but I thought it flowed at the time).
I noticed she knew a lot of the guys there and danced with a lot of them. I was cool about it, but I thought it would be fun to call her out on it.
Martyr - Is there any guy here you aren't flirting with?
HBCollege - I'm a flirt, it's my personality.
Martyr - And you're completely cool with it, I like that.
I was trying to qualify and also show that I wasn't affected at all not being the only guy she was chatting with.
Throughout the night, I kissed her on the top of the head and on the cheek a bunch of times, and she initiated it a bunch of times as well, so I will admit... I wimped out on going for a makeout.
Ended it with being kicked out of the dancing area (bar was closing). I walked up to her and extracted her from her group again. Told her we should chill again, and got her number.
____________________________________________________________________________
Things I tried that I had never done:
1) Work a set throughout the night through fragmented time intervals
Things I did well
1) Touching, eye contact, seductive glances
2) Qualified a girl beyond her looks (I haven't done that enough lately)
3) Comfortably danced with a stranger (I realized I had to learn how to dance, and at the very least try, so I've been working on doing it more lately)
Things I could have done better
1) Sit her down
2) More comfort
3) Didn't think about extraction at all
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
The Hammer, the Technique, and the Nailing
I thought of this analogy last night, and I found it really amusing so I'll post it here. In terms of getting girls, you can think of it as a hammer banging away at a nails.
1) Strike Frequency - this is how many times you approach a girl, how many times you try to make out with a girl, how many times you put yourself in a position to get a girl, etc. The more times you strike the hammer, the better your chances are at nailing.
2) Hammering Technique - the more times you strike, the more opportunities you have to improve your ability to strike. The more you analyze it (field reports), the more you see your mistakes. If you have outside help in analyzing it (wings, coaches), that also helps you to improve your technique. I suppose this is what you would call "game". This will optimize the amount of times you successfully nail given what you have to work with.
3) Your Hammer - This is what you have to work with - your existing identity, your physical appearance, your passions, your ambitions, your personality. If you have a really good tool to work with, then you wouldn't need to strike as often or as well. This part can also be worked on (lifestyle). So work on improving your tool if you want the nailing to be easier.
In real life, I know these are inter-related - if you're confident (hammer) then you will approach more often (strike frequency), if you are skillful in moving interactions forward (technique) then you will recognize and take opportunities more often (strike frequency), if you strike a lot and get lucky (strike frequency) then your confidence will improve (hammer).
However, my point is that all three aspects need to be improved upon, so pound away a ton, work on improving your ability to pound, work on making what you have to pound with better, and you'll end up nailing a lot.
1) Strike Frequency - this is how many times you approach a girl, how many times you try to make out with a girl, how many times you put yourself in a position to get a girl, etc. The more times you strike the hammer, the better your chances are at nailing.
2) Hammering Technique - the more times you strike, the more opportunities you have to improve your ability to strike. The more you analyze it (field reports), the more you see your mistakes. If you have outside help in analyzing it (wings, coaches), that also helps you to improve your technique. I suppose this is what you would call "game". This will optimize the amount of times you successfully nail given what you have to work with.
3) Your Hammer - This is what you have to work with - your existing identity, your physical appearance, your passions, your ambitions, your personality. If you have a really good tool to work with, then you wouldn't need to strike as often or as well. This part can also be worked on (lifestyle). So work on improving your tool if you want the nailing to be easier.
In real life, I know these are inter-related - if you're confident (hammer) then you will approach more often (strike frequency), if you are skillful in moving interactions forward (technique) then you will recognize and take opportunities more often (strike frequency), if you strike a lot and get lucky (strike frequency) then your confidence will improve (hammer).
However, my point is that all three aspects need to be improved upon, so pound away a ton, work on improving your ability to pound, work on making what you have to pound with better, and you'll end up nailing a lot.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
FR 01/02/09 - Made Guy Get Desperate and Needy
William spotted this cute ass girl with dirty blond hair who showed up with an entourage of people, both guys and girls. He told me something I already knew - "Here comes the Long Island chick". He knows I like Long Island looking girls. I didn't approach her at the time, but after spotting her a couple more times that night, I didn't care who she was with, I wanted to go for that one. She was chatting with this guy at the time, and I was more than prepared for an amog battle. In fact, as I approached, I mentioned to Unreal - watch this guy try to tool me.
Martyr - Young Lady
HBDirtyBlonde - Yes?
Martyr - I noticed you about an hour ago, and I wanted to come say hi to you, and I didn't, but I'm here now, hi! You are totally gorgeous
HBDirtyBlonde - Thank you! I'm HBDirtyBlonde
Martyr - I'm Martyr
Notice how the guy was basically never in the picture. In fact, Unreal told me the guy watched me in astonishment, and eventually walked away to talk to some other friends.
I talked about my dislike of bars and nightclubs, however, they exist for me to interact with people. I told her she looked like a Long Island girl (she isn't).
Talked about New Years Resolutions. I shared mine, she shared hers, turns out hers is sports related. I told her about my basketball team, and how I am teaching my 14 year old cousin how to play tennis. She's asking me questions about my basketball team, and we talked about the sports she played growing up.
She gets pulled away from me by her friends (dammit! again tonight!). Anyway, I ended up talking to other girls, but I did notice her again later that night. The guy she was chatting with earlier has become as needy as a guy is going to get. He was ignoring the rest of the social group, followed her around, he was DETERMINED not to give me another window. I ended up chatting with other girls. Eventually, Unreal tells me she went over to coat check. Sure, I'll reapproach.
Walked over to her -
Martyr - Hey HBDirtyBlonde, I gotta tell you something
HBDirtyBlonde - Yes?
Martyr - I met this really sweet girl earlier and I completely forgot to ask her if she would go on a date with me
HBDirtyBlonde - Oh?
Martyr - Yes, would you go on a date with me?
HBDirtyBlonde (with hand on my chest) - Awe, I have a boyfriend
Martyr - That doesn't answer my question. Would you go on a date with me?
HBDirtyBlonde (with increasing amounts of touching between us) - I'm a good girl, but you'll find someone. I'll pinky swear on that.
Got a kiss on the cheek and that was about the end of it. I went for it, there is no way that guy orbiting her is her boyfriend, he can continue to waste time as he chooses.
_________________________________________________________________
Things I did that I had never done
Approached a girl who was chatting with just one guy at a nightclub setting
Things I did well
Went right into rapport building.
Made the guy irrelevant
Things I could have done better
Not sure... I thought I was pretty solid.
Martyr - Young Lady
HBDirtyBlonde - Yes?
Martyr - I noticed you about an hour ago, and I wanted to come say hi to you, and I didn't, but I'm here now, hi! You are totally gorgeous
HBDirtyBlonde - Thank you! I'm HBDirtyBlonde
Martyr - I'm Martyr
Notice how the guy was basically never in the picture. In fact, Unreal told me the guy watched me in astonishment, and eventually walked away to talk to some other friends.
I talked about my dislike of bars and nightclubs, however, they exist for me to interact with people. I told her she looked like a Long Island girl (she isn't).
Talked about New Years Resolutions. I shared mine, she shared hers, turns out hers is sports related. I told her about my basketball team, and how I am teaching my 14 year old cousin how to play tennis. She's asking me questions about my basketball team, and we talked about the sports she played growing up.
She gets pulled away from me by her friends (dammit! again tonight!). Anyway, I ended up talking to other girls, but I did notice her again later that night. The guy she was chatting with earlier has become as needy as a guy is going to get. He was ignoring the rest of the social group, followed her around, he was DETERMINED not to give me another window. I ended up chatting with other girls. Eventually, Unreal tells me she went over to coat check. Sure, I'll reapproach.
Walked over to her -
Martyr - Hey HBDirtyBlonde, I gotta tell you something
HBDirtyBlonde - Yes?
Martyr - I met this really sweet girl earlier and I completely forgot to ask her if she would go on a date with me
HBDirtyBlonde - Oh?
Martyr - Yes, would you go on a date with me?
HBDirtyBlonde (with hand on my chest) - Awe, I have a boyfriend
Martyr - That doesn't answer my question. Would you go on a date with me?
HBDirtyBlonde (with increasing amounts of touching between us) - I'm a good girl, but you'll find someone. I'll pinky swear on that.
Got a kiss on the cheek and that was about the end of it. I went for it, there is no way that guy orbiting her is her boyfriend, he can continue to waste time as he chooses.
_________________________________________________________________
Things I did that I had never done
Approached a girl who was chatting with just one guy at a nightclub setting
Things I did well
Went right into rapport building.
Made the guy irrelevant
Things I could have done better
Not sure... I thought I was pretty solid.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Why Attraction Switch Stories Work
Hey everyone,
Why do attraction switch stories work? Personally, I don't truly believe that it's triggering the switches that gets the girl to be attracted to you. In fact, I believe that what gets you the girl is successfully LEADING an interaction, from approach to bantering to comfort to direct interest to escalation, and only that. However, I do believe that story telling is important in filling that time. It's important for the girl to know who you are, at some level. She may not need your life story, or even the story of your week, but she needs something to know that the guy she wants to sleep with is not a loser.
Noticed how I said she wants him to not be a loser, as opposed to the most attractive person she's met in a while. This is why I believe the demonstration of higher value stories work. As long as you follow the switches, you avoid being painted as a loser while letting her know you better. The following is a list of some attraction switches I try to hit when I tell my stories and the antithesis of those attraction switches.
1 - Passionate Man - Disinterested Man
2 - Pre-selected by Women - Deselected by Women
3 - Man with Future Ambitions - Man of No Desires
4 - Protector of Loved Ones - Destroyer of Loves Ones
5 - Man of Action - Man of Inaction
6 - Sense of Humor - Lack of Humor
7 - Energetic / Playful - Lethargic / Dull
8 - Financial Status - Financial Instability
9 - Experienced Man - Inexperienced Man
10 - Sexual Safety - Sexual Risk
Again, I don't think it's exactly the attraction switches that gets you the girl. I think it's letting her know who you are, while avoiding the antithesis of the attraction switches, while you lead an interaction, that gets you the girl. Guys who are naturally good with women naturally share who they are without having to keep the attraction switches in mind because they naturally avoid the antithesis of the attraction switches.
So for guys who are not naturally good in relating to women, try to alter stories that paint you as a loser (i.e. not following the attraction switches), and try to relate your experiences to others following the attraction switches. If you are not naturally good at improvising stories, then you need to sit down and figure out what you want the world (female world) to know about you, and then write down a couple of stories to tell to convey that. Use the attraction switches as a guideline to make sure you are not painting yourself in an unattractive way. You'll be amazed how much more people will respect you and be attracted to who you already are.
If you truly do not have stories about yourself that fall into attraction switch categories, you need to take a good hard look at who you are and consider working on that.
Why do attraction switch stories work? Personally, I don't truly believe that it's triggering the switches that gets the girl to be attracted to you. In fact, I believe that what gets you the girl is successfully LEADING an interaction, from approach to bantering to comfort to direct interest to escalation, and only that. However, I do believe that story telling is important in filling that time. It's important for the girl to know who you are, at some level. She may not need your life story, or even the story of your week, but she needs something to know that the guy she wants to sleep with is not a loser.
Noticed how I said she wants him to not be a loser, as opposed to the most attractive person she's met in a while. This is why I believe the demonstration of higher value stories work. As long as you follow the switches, you avoid being painted as a loser while letting her know you better. The following is a list of some attraction switches I try to hit when I tell my stories and the antithesis of those attraction switches.
1 - Passionate Man - Disinterested Man
2 - Pre-selected by Women - Deselected by Women
3 - Man with Future Ambitions - Man of No Desires
4 - Protector of Loved Ones - Destroyer of Loves Ones
5 - Man of Action - Man of Inaction
6 - Sense of Humor - Lack of Humor
7 - Energetic / Playful - Lethargic / Dull
8 - Financial Status - Financial Instability
9 - Experienced Man - Inexperienced Man
10 - Sexual Safety - Sexual Risk
Again, I don't think it's exactly the attraction switches that gets you the girl. I think it's letting her know who you are, while avoiding the antithesis of the attraction switches, while you lead an interaction, that gets you the girl. Guys who are naturally good with women naturally share who they are without having to keep the attraction switches in mind because they naturally avoid the antithesis of the attraction switches.
So for guys who are not naturally good in relating to women, try to alter stories that paint you as a loser (i.e. not following the attraction switches), and try to relate your experiences to others following the attraction switches. If you are not naturally good at improvising stories, then you need to sit down and figure out what you want the world (female world) to know about you, and then write down a couple of stories to tell to convey that. Use the attraction switches as a guideline to make sure you are not painting yourself in an unattractive way. You'll be amazed how much more people will respect you and be attracted to who you already are.
If you truly do not have stories about yourself that fall into attraction switch categories, you need to take a good hard look at who you are and consider working on that.
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