FR 8/30/09: Hottie at the Mall

Decided to take a stroll down the block and stumbled upon the mall. Walked into one of the stories and this hottie greets me. I didn't notice her as I was walking in so I was a little surprised

HBStore: Hi, welcome to __________.
Martyr: Whoa, I didnt even see you there, Hi.

Her ring catches my eye.

Martyr: What's that? (refering to the ring)
HBStore: Oh, it's a ____.
Martyr: (upon close inspection) Cool
HBStore: Thanks!
Martyr: You're in a pretty good mood
HBStore: Yea, it's the weekend.... well, whatever's left of it, I'm going to enjoy it

*after some browsing and some fluff*

Martyr: I'm really just taking a walk around the neighborhood. In fact, it was probably a bad idea for me to bring my wallet with me
HBStore: haha.... yea, the mall does that to people. A walk?
Martyr: I used to work at a mall too!

I browse some more and get her name.

Before leaving the store, I noticed something about her and I decided to say it.

Martyr: You know, you are very sweet, and friendly, especially for someone who is about done with work for the day.
HBStore: Thank you! You should see me at the start of a week, you may change your mind.

Martyr exits the store. Realizes he's being a little bitch. The girl is a cutie and seems like sweetheart. He should go back in there.

Martyr walks around the mall for another FIFTEEN MINUTES before coming up with this plan.

Martyr is going to count till 5, slowly, and when the count is over, he is going to walk back towards the store and ask the girl to join him for a cup of coffee.

1.... 2..... 3..... 4..... 5.....

Martyr: Hey HBStore.
HBStore: Oh, hi again
Martyr: I made a mistake earlier.
HBStore: okay....
Martyr: I met this beautiful girl earlier. About 5'8, long dark hair, and I completely forgot to ask her to join me for a cup of coffee. Would you like to join me for a cup of coffee?
HBStore: I would love to but....

Okay, here comes the boyfriend crap....

HBStore: .....my ride home is coming to pick me up. Do you live in the area?
Martyr: Yea, I live down the block
HBStore: Well, I work all day Thursday, so if you're up for it, we can have coffee at 8ish.

Done!

So I approached, bantered with her, and expressed romantic interest in her..... what am I missing? Oh crap! Time for some last minute comfort!

Martyr: Alright cool, I'll see you on Thursday
HBStore: Yea
Martyr: Wait! You don't know anything about me!
HBStore: Haha! you're right!
Martyr: My favorite color is blue, and I recently moved here from New York

We connected a little bit on moving and having lived in different places.

After a brief chat, I exited the store.

On my way home I was thinking, CRAP, REUNION DINNER IS THURSDAY!

Oh well, can't have it all. Can't win them all.

__________________________________________

Things I did that I had never done:
1) Asked a sales person to join me for coffee
2) Last minute comfort

Things I did well
1) Remained cool and calm

Things I could have done better
1) Not hesitate and walk around the mall like a loser for 15 minutes
2) A little more physical connection (it was very minimal)
3) Not book the meet at the same time as the reunion dinner! (Hope you understand Johnny)

FR 8/15/09: Blocked by Asian Chick on a Street Bounce

Went to San Francisco to see some of the guys, G-Love, Nightjob, and Juggernaut. Bounced around some bars. Nightjob is new to going out in San Francisco (as am I) so he's asking girls in the streets "where's the party at?". At one point he approaches this Asian girl and this White girl on the street. White chick is a cutie, it didn't look like Albert wanted either one, so I went in for the one I wanted.

I simply roll up and say, hey, what's up?

Albert tells me the situation and I wasn't sure what was going on, but I felt my own state dropping so I decided to do something about it.

I positioned myself next to the which chick, who we shall call HBStreetCutie:

Tommy: You look cute as hell tonight. (Giving 60% eye contact to HBStreetCutie and 40% to Asian friend)
Girls: Thank you!
Tommy: Just moved here from New York, having an awesome time in San Francisco
HBStreetCutie: We are going for cigarettes.

She may have said that, but as far as I am concerned, she is standing there talking to me, so it's basically irrelevant.

Tommy: Huh? (with a look of confusion) No! (with a look of certainty). We are going to the next bar.

I kinda of fucked up with the logistics of this move because I didn't actually know where we were going next. NO MATTER! I turned away from the two girls and held out my hand behind me assuming HBStreetCutie would grab it. Bam! It happens, and we are walking hand in hand down the block.

I also fucked up in working with my wings to manage the group so what happened was as I was walking my chick down the block, and the Asian girl caught up to us and walked with us within 5 seconds. Nightjob and G-Love are behind us, and they eventually pass us as they point out a deli across the street where they are going for cigarettes.

Half way down the block, I change from hand holding to me having my arm around her, she sinks into it. Awesome!

I cross the street to the deli. As I am leading them in, the Asian chick grabs my girl and says "No, we are going to Walgreens" and poof! they are gone..... Fuck...

________________________________________

Things I did that I had never done:
1) Start walking a girl from the street to a bar (even though I didn't know where this bar I was going to was)

Things I did well:
1) Assume attraction
2) Lead the interaction
3) Kept my girl in the moment

Things I could have done better:
1) Work with my wings better to get both girls
2) Know where I am leading them to

FR 8/14/09: Unintentional Amogging of Some Random Black Guy

My apartment is literally above a stretch of bars and (sorta) clubs. So basically, I can go out really quickly on any given night. Juggernaut was around this particular night and told me he was going to be in my area for a little bit, so I get dressed and stroll over to the bar. Nothing much was going on there and it closed pretty soon after I arrived. On the way to the elevator out of the building, there was this bangin' cutie and her cutie friends. I hesitate, get in the elevator and try to forget about it. As I am walking out of the lobby after I got out of the elevator, I saw the bangin' cutie again. This is for me! I turn to walk back in the lobby, telling the bouncer I forgot something on my way in:

A (Assume, attract, and approach)
As I am walking up, I see this black guy talking to them. He doesn't look like he picked a target, so I am going to assume that the bangin' cutie is mine for the taking.

Tommy: I know I'm interrupting, and I apologize, but you are fuckin' adorable, who are you?
Bangin' Cutie: OMG! Thank you! That is so sweet!

I am still amazed that girls you say are "fuckin _______" think you're sweet.

B (Be in the moment, buying temperature, bantering)
Black guy started making comments about how I'm fuckin with their conversation. My eyes are locked in to my target, my body is locked in on the set, he can't touch me. The other girl is fun, she made some comments about my approach

Cutie's friend: So I'm not hot?
Tommy: I noticed her first. Not that you're not hot, I just happened to see her first.

Bangin' Cutie: Do you two know each other? (refering to the black guy)

I turn her shoulder so that she is facing only me and in a commanding tone:

Tommy: I came here to you. I don't know who he is and it really doesn't matter.

At this point, both the black guy and the other girl became spectators in my interaction. He's basically losing steam in his and can't hold his girl so he's watching me a bit.

I basically put my hands on the shoulder of my girl as I turn her 180 as I am walking so that I stay in front of her and her friend and the black guy are behind her (BLP bitches!) and we continue our conversation.

The other guy loses his girl and ejects. The other hottie didn't interrupt me at all.

Bangin' Cutie: My boyfriend is coming to pick me up now
Tommy: You can't get into that car.
Bangin' Cutie: Why not?
Tommy: Because we haven't fallin' in love yet
Bangin' Cutie: What if I'm already in love?
Tommy: I can wait..... I have about 10 seconds.
Bangin' Cutie: Haha....

That's about it. Her ride comes and she's gone. Oh well

____________________

Things I did well:
1) BLP
2) Kept a fun and flirty vibe during the B phase
3) Pushed beyond the boyfriend crap

Things I could have done better:
1) Approach earlier

FR 07/04/09: Solo Night Game in London

Been a while since I wrote one of these....

I'm here in London on a business trip and I've been aching to go out, but scared shitless to do so, but I feel I have to. How else would the women here have a chance with me? I wimped out on Friday night, but I did spot a nightclub I targeted for Saturday night called "Amika". Despite wimping out, I read some old 'Pump Action' field reports to get myself going. Saturday rolls around and I am on my way to the ATM near the club and I see this tall, hot, young-looking, brunette dressed to kill with her friend waiting to cross the same street I was crossing.

Being in a foreign land alone was tough for me, I never did much traveling in my life, so the assumption I made here was that they would be friendly.

Tommy: You two look excellent tonight
Girls: Thank you!

I made sure to give the hottie 60% eye contact and her friend 40%.

Nothing spectacular, just chatted with them as we crossed the street.

Hottie: You're American?
Me: Yea, I'm from New York.
Hottie: I loved New York
Me: Where are you from?
Hottie: Australia
Me: That must be why I can understand your English!
Hottie: haha

I went on to talk about how the British English is difficult for me. Anyway, this was me being in the moment, and just chatting along. I find out later that she is going to the same nightclub as me, awesome!

While I was in line for the night club, I started chatting with the 2 girls behind me. After a couple of minutes, I realized I was at a pretty exclusive place, and asked the ladies if they would let me join their group getting in. They were cool with it. Not only that, they asked me to join their group for a little bit, which was nice - instant social proof.

The hottie from earlier saw me with those two girls and smiled at me when we made eye contact as she was walking by. Nice! To be honest though, the first exchange on the street felt rather awkward, it made me feel weird about reapproaching, but in the words of Johnny Wolf "You don't know!"

This nightclub has a pretty damn good amount of quality girls, so I definitely recommend it. They also had some American theme decor (I also overheard that it was an independence day party)

At one point I was wandering around and happened to come across the hottie and started chatting with her.

Me: Cool place
Hottie: yea, but the drinks are crazy expensive
Me: already here, too late! (I bounce a bit to the music and I see her bouncing with me a bit)
Me: Do you have any moves?
Hottie: Maybe later when it gets more packed and I've had more to drink

I shake my head in disagreement and proceed to take her hand and spin her!

Forgot what happened after that, but she went off.

I see her later and say hi again, and she invites me to sit with her and her friend. I haven't really run a good nightclub set in some time now, and I knew for certain I had to do move forward in conversation topics and get more sexual. but seriously, I have no fuckin what I was doing in this country.

Woah! As I typed that, I realized that I could have easily gone into talking about traveling, seeing how I am traveling.... I'm an idiot.

As it turns out, we talked about culture. She jokingly said Americans are idiots (we elected George Bush, twice), and she made it clear that she did not ride a kangaroo to school when I asked what Australians did. I jokingly said I had to carry knives and guns to school in New York. She said that's something she would have believed. I asked her if she knew how to properly use a boomerang as a joke, and she said "Yea! I can use one of those!" Haha.

She got up to go to the bar with her friend. I saw her later and danced with her for just a bit. That was about it....

_____________________________________________

Things I did that I had never done before
1) Go to a nightclub in another country
2) Solo game at a nightclub

Things I did well
1) Keep my cool for a good portion of the night
2) Kept an open mind about meeting people
3) Solid on the approach, both in tonality and in body language

Things I could have done better
1) Spam comfort topics until one hit and go for it
2) Assume a comfort topic was going to work and go for it
3) Move the girl
4) Compliance test
5) Deal with the friends better

FR 05/01/09 - It's not about them, it's about me

On Friday night, I roll out with my friend Raven and did some bar hopping in the East Village. I went around to a couple of bars in the area, and it was tough. I went to a couple of really small bars and also this place called Phebe's.

Phebe's had a good amount of girls, but it was also quite loud and crowded. I did my usual tour, roamed around and talked to the cuties that crossed my path

Set 1:
Blow out

Set 2:
Polite exit

Set 3:
Blow out

Set 4:
Blow out

At this point, I was getting a little frustrated, like I didn't even get to game since I was not able to get past the first 20 seconds. Then I though to myself "it's not about them, it's about me". My self-worth, my evaluation of who I am should not be based on the reactions of 4 girls. I should always value myself more than the girls I am talking to. Given that, I decided to go and get blown out 3 more times before I go home and really soak it in.

Set 5:
Polite exit

Set 6:
Walking set - didn't stop walking

Set 7:
"You already approached my friend!" - Blow out

Well, I didn't get to 3 blow outs, but I did push myself despite the reactions I was getting. Based on that, I was pretty satisfied with myself. There will be nights like this, and it's nights like this where learn to value yourself above others. It's nights like this that forces you to embrace the fact that you are expressing yourself in the best manner possible and that's it's always about you, not about them.

FR 04/28/09 - Failed Compliance Test, Still Kissed the Girl

Back at it like a crack addict. I'm back in NYC, met up with my good friend Raven and we hit some bars. It's unseasonably warm, so the bars are not that packed (and it's a weekday). Eventually end up at this bar that has open bar every Tuesday, so we know there will be a crowd. Harsh blowouts, polite exits, harsh blowout again! Ouch, I wanted to go home. Raven calls me out on being an ego protecting little bitch, tells me this is the time to push yourself. I thought of this quote:

"Character is not made of sunshine and roses. Like steel, it is forged in fire, between the hammer and the anvil." - Chin-Ning Chu

At this very moment, I spotted a tall skinny sexy red head with long wavy hair (I actually had made eye contact with her 10 minutes ago) and just started walking.

Martyr - You are cute as hell. Who are you!?
TallSexyRedhead - I'm TallSexyRedhead

Martyr - You cannot come out looking like this, guys are going to come over and hit on you day and night
TallSexyRedhead - Well, you're the first tonight
Martyr - (Ignoring that comment) Why would you do this? What do you want from me? What are you out here for?

The first two questions were just banter and said more like a statement, and the third one is the actual question to move the conversation forward.

We talk some more about what she is up to, I drop in that this is my first time out since I came back from LA. She's there for a 21st b-day party and free drinks

This is where the verbal part gets a little fuzzy because we jumped around a lot of different topics. She said she's been in New York for 4 years, I tell her I can definitely tell. She says she's about to graduate, I guess that she is graduating from F.I.T., made a good guess, lucky me. I tell her I wanted to be a professional basketball player when I was 14 and tell her about how I still play in tournaments and leagues and I talk about that. She talks about soccer. I tell her I could definitely take her (creating the her and I dynamic). I tell her if she were blond I would think she was be like an LA girl - laid back, fun, etc. I talk about my recent trip and career aspirations.

Thinking back, I can't believe i went through all those topics.

At one point in there somewhere, we move to the bar. I tried to lead her by the hand, but she half ass complied. She held my hand in a limp way, and then dropped her hand altogether. This shit used to phase me a lot, but no longer. Now I just kept progressing the interaction. I can't quite explain why, but I think this actually spiked attraction.

They had glow sticks hanging, I wanted to grab one and give it to her. So I grabbed one, and told her I had a gift for her. Haha.

We chat more and she asks me who I came here with. I didn't realize at the time, but she's almost thinking logistically, which means i should already have been thinking logistically at this point. She tells me she should spend some time with the birthday girl, and that I should grab my friend and join them. I respond playfully:

Martyr - Oh, so our first date is over. That was fun.
TallSexyRedHead - No it isn't! Not unless we allow it to be.
Martyr - It's fine, we can go on a second date in 10 minutes or so.

I go in to kiss her on the lips. This was one of the rare times (I don't recall another one) where I went for it and a girl kissed me back, but it wasn't a makeout. I end the kiss and tell her we're saving some for our second date.

Not getting the makeout affected my state. She may have even noticed the sub-communications related to it. I became a little bitch, and didn't reapproach. I didn't even get her number (WTF!?)

Yea, that fuckin ego needs to be destroyed.

____________________________________________

Things I did that I had never done:
1) Not giving a shit when she didn't hold my hand

Things I did well
1) A lot of conversational topics related to her, me, or her and I
2) Discarded topics of conversation I didn't like

Things I could have done better
1) Not give a shit that I didn't get a makeout
2) Think logistically (pull, pull, pull!)
3) Not give a fuck and go back in set
4) Grab her phone number early on

FR 04/24/09 - Martyr visits LA and makes out with a Stripper

California is beautiful. You guys out there really made me work. I touched down around 1:20, got picked up and the schedule went like this:

2:00PM - Daygame at UCLA
3:30PM - Daygame at 3rd St Promenade
8:30PM - Dinner at UCLA Dining hall
10:00PM - Saddle Ranch, The Standard, some other bars on Sunset Blvd.
2:15PM - Mel's Diner

(Yes, I had my luggage in someone's car the entire time)

I felt like I was living the life of Neil Strauss.

Most of my sets were pretty good. Flirty, good energy, good vibes. Ray and Tank showed me some cool spots. I'm going to write about 2 of the sets I had.

____________________________________________


1) The set I bitch out:

I was at this divey bar and spotted this blond in red. Frickin hot. I walk over to her and run my mouth.

Not going to lie, beer helped me get into state. But whatever, first time in California

Martyr - You are fuckin adorable, who are you?
BlondinRed - Thank you! (I think she returned the compliment)
Martyr - I just got to LA, trying to enjoy myself, and here you are all adorable, making me come over to say hi, what are you doing to me? I'm only a man here!

She giggles, I'm in.

Just chilled out with her at the bar and told her what I was doing in LA, what I liked about the area.

She has this orbiting friend that was sitting on the other side of her, and because i had my back to the bar, he had to talk over her shoulder if he wanted to get into the conversation. Awesome.

We had already talked a little about what I was doing, so I asked her what she was up to. Before she could answer, I dropped in a quick cold read

Martyr - You are a creative type (credit Straycat)
BlondinRed - Yea I am! I'm a writer!

So at this point, I've already surveyed the area. There is a makeout area right around the corner, I just need to stop being a little pussy bitch, and I got this.

We vibe some more, and we're standing closer and closer. I tell her I have a tattoo on my back, which she demands to see and grabs at one of the buttons. I stop her telling her to chill out, I can undress myself. Show her the tattoo. We vibe some more, and now her lips are 3 inches from my face. I knew, I KNEW all I had to do was say, I have something else to show you, and take her around the corner and the makeout would be there. I completely bitched out. She even throws compliments at me here and there, however, I was still a little bitch

She says she needs to go to the bathroom, and walks. The orbiting friend says to me "did you creep her out already?". I sarcastically say "yea, absolutely". He ends up walking after her, I was too dumb (drunk?) at the time, but I realized later, he went to get her away from me because he was in danger of losing her to me.

I look around for her but it was too late, they had already left.

I meet up with Tank, and he saw the interaction occur, he gave me shit about not kissing her when she was 3 inches away, he told me about the extraction spot around the corner (which I already knew about). Yea, I was a little bitch....

____________________________________________


2) Gaming a stripper:

We go walking down Sunset Blvd, past this strip club named "Body Shop" and joked about going there after the sargathon is over. At the very next bar, I see this hot blond chick with fishnet gloves/sleeves and a bangin' body. Yea... this is mine, I want this.

Martyr - You are fuckin adorable. Who are you?
BanginBodyBlond - Who am I? Who are you!?
Martyr - You can't stand around looking like that, this is what is going to happen, I can't help but to come hit on you, I'm only a man here!
BanginBodyBlond - (laughing) My name is BanginBodyBlond. Did you follow me from that club?
Martyr - (Confused) No. What's up there? (I really forgot what I had walked past)
BanginBodyBlond - It's a club, I'm a dancer there, sometimes guys follow us down to here

Holy Shit! I am talking to a stripper, niiiiiiice!

She finishes her cigarette and we go inside for a drink. Immediately, I locate a good place to sit.

We grab our drinks and I lead her to a good spot to sit at. I tell her about why I am in LA, tell her I am visiting from NYC. She talks about how she wants to move there. Share some stories. She does the same. I do a cold read about her being someone creative. She tells me she aspires to be a stage actress. I talk about basketball and traveling.

Overall, we had a pretty flirty vibe. Flirty banter combined with a direct opener allowed her to know I was there with intent. She's in between shifts, so I'm kind of in a slight time crunch. Grab her number, and chat more.

BanginBodyBlond - What time is it? I think I have to get back to work
Martyr - It's [read my watch].
(she gets up)
BanginBodyBlond - You have my number, if you really are going to call me. (Weird, she doubts I want to call her, no idea why that's the case. If anyone has insight, please let me know.)
Martyr - I'll walk you out.

As we are walking, I grab her hand, and I ask her

Martyr - On a scale from one to ten, how good of a kisser are you?
BanginBodyBlond - That is something I am definitely very good at. Some other fluff. I would have to say I'm a 10.
Martyr - Excellent, come here. (As I say this, I am pulling her in with my arms and moving forward with my lips.)

Full blown makeout right outside the bar with a stripper. Niiiiice

Martyr - Pretty good, 9.5
BanginBodyBlond - Haha! (as she waves and goes back to work)

I have to be honest, I was surprised at how little I had to deviate from the game plan to for this interaction.