Martyr's Journal

FR 8/30/09: Hottie at the Mall

2009-09-01T16:20:00.004-04:00

Decided to take a stroll down the block and stumbled upon the mall. Walked into one of the stories and this hottie greets me. I didn't notice her as I was walking in so I was a little surprised

HBStore: Hi, welcome to __________.
Martyr: Whoa, I didnt even see you there, Hi.

Her ring catches my eye.

Martyr: What's that? (refering to the ring)
HBStore: Oh, it's a ____.
Martyr: (upon close inspection) Cool
HBStore: Thanks!
Martyr: You're in a pretty good mood
HBStore: Yea, it's the weekend.... well, whatever's left of it, I'm going to enjoy it

*after some browsing and some fluff*

Martyr: I'm really just taking a walk around the neighborhood. In fact, it was probably a bad idea for me to bring my wallet with me
HBStore: haha.... yea, the mall does that to people. A walk?
Martyr: I used to work at a mall too!

I browse some more and get her name.

Before leaving the store, I noticed something about her and I decided to say it.

Martyr: You know, you are very sweet, and friendly, especially for someone who is about done with work for the day.
HBStore: Thank you! You should see me at the start of a week, you may change your mind.

Martyr exits the store. Realizes he's being a little bitch. The girl is a cutie and seems like sweetheart. He should go back in there.

Martyr walks around the mall for another FIFTEEN MINUTES before coming up with this plan.

Martyr is going to count till 5, slowly, and when the count is over, he is going to walk back towards the store and ask the girl to join him for a cup of coffee.

1.... 2..... 3..... 4..... 5.....

Martyr: Hey HBStore.
HBStore: Oh, hi again
Martyr: I made a mistake earlier.
HBStore: okay....
Martyr: I met this beautiful girl earlier. About 5'8, long dark hair, and I completely forgot to ask her to join me for a cup of coffee. Would you like to join me for a cup of coffee?
HBStore: I would love to but....

Okay, here comes the boyfriend crap....

HBStore: .....my ride home is coming to pick me up. Do you live in the area?
Martyr: Yea, I live down the block
HBStore: Well, I work all day Thursday, so if you're up for it, we can have coffee at 8ish.

Done!

So I approached, bantered with her, and expressed romantic interest in her..... what am I missing? Oh crap! Time for some last minute comfort!

Martyr: Alright cool, I'll see you on Thursday
HBStore: Yea
Martyr: Wait! You don't know anything about me!
HBStore: Haha! you're right!
Martyr: My favorite color is blue, and I recently moved here from New York

We connected a little bit on moving and having lived in different places.

After a brief chat, I exited the store.

On my way home I was thinking, CRAP, REUNION DINNER IS THURSDAY!

Oh well, can't have it all. Can't win them all.

__________________________________________

Things I did that I had never done:
1) Asked a sales person to join me for coffee
2) Last minute comfort

Things I did well
1) Remained cool and calm

Things I could have done better
1) Not hesitate and walk around the mall like a loser for 15 minutes
2) A little more physical connection (it was very minimal)
3) Not book the meet at the same time as the reunion dinner! (Hope you understand Johnny)

FR 8/15/09: Blocked by Asian Chick on a Street Bounce

2009-08-19T23:58:00.002-04:00

Went to San Francisco to see some of the guys, G-Love, Nightjob, and Juggernaut. Bounced around some bars. Nightjob is new to going out in San Francisco (as am I) so he's asking girls in the streets "where's the party at?". At one point he approaches this Asian girl and this White girl on the street. White chick is a cutie, it didn't look like Albert wanted either one, so I went in for the one I wanted.

I simply roll up and say, hey, what's up?

Albert tells me the situation and I wasn't sure what was going on, but I felt my own state dropping so I decided to do something about it.

I positioned myself next to the which chick, who we shall call HBStreetCutie:

Tommy: You look cute as hell tonight. (Giving 60% eye contact to HBStreetCutie and 40% to Asian friend)
Girls: Thank you!
Tommy: Just moved here from New York, having an awesome time in San Francisco
HBStreetCutie: We are going for cigarettes.

She may have said that, but as far as I am concerned, she is standing there talking to me, so it's basically irrelevant.

Tommy: Huh? (with a look of confusion) No! (with a look of certainty). We are going to the next bar.

I kinda of fucked up with the logistics of this move because I didn't actually know where we were going next. NO MATTER! I turned away from the two girls and held out my hand behind me assuming HBStreetCutie would grab it. Bam! It happens, and we are walking hand in hand down the block.

I also fucked up in working with my wings to manage the group so what happened was as I was walking my chick down the block, and the Asian girl caught up to us and walked with us within 5 seconds. Nightjob and G-Love are behind us, and they eventually pass us as they point out a deli across the street where they are going for cigarettes.

Half way down the block, I change from hand holding to me having my arm around her, she sinks into it. Awesome!

I cross the street to the deli. As I am leading them in, the Asian chick grabs my girl and says "No, we are going to Walgreens" and poof! they are gone..... Fuck...

________________________________________

Things I did that I had never done:
1) Start walking a girl from the street to a bar (even though I didn't know where this bar I was going to was)

Things I did well:
1) Assume attraction
2) Lead the interaction
3) Kept my girl in the moment

Things I could have done better:
1) Work with my wings better to get both girls
2) Know where I am leading them to

FR 8/14/09: Unintentional Amogging of Some Random Black Guy

2009-08-19T23:57:00.000-04:00

My apartment is literally above a stretch of bars and (sorta) clubs. So basically, I can go out really quickly on any given night. Juggernaut was around this particular night and told me he was going to be in my area for a little bit, so I get dressed and stroll over to the bar. Nothing much was going on there and it closed pretty soon after I arrived. On the way to the elevator out of the building, there was this bangin' cutie and her cutie friends. I hesitate, get in the elevator and try to forget about it. As I am walking out of the lobby after I got out of the elevator, I saw the bangin' cutie again. This is for me! I turn to walk back in the lobby, telling the bouncer I forgot something on my way in:

A (Assume, attract, and approach)
As I am walking up, I see this black guy talking to them. He doesn't look like he picked a target, so I am going to assume that the bangin' cutie is mine for the taking.

Tommy: I know I'm interrupting, and I apologize, but you are fuckin' adorable, who are you?
Bangin' Cutie: OMG! Thank you! That is so sweet!

I am still amazed that girls you say are "fuckin _______" think you're sweet.

B (Be in the moment, buying temperature, bantering)
Black guy started making comments about how I'm fuckin with their conversation. My eyes are locked in to my target, my body is locked in on the set, he can't touch me. The other girl is fun, she made some comments about my approach

Cutie's friend: So I'm not hot?
Tommy: I noticed her first. Not that you're not hot, I just happened to see her first.

Bangin' Cutie: Do you two know each other? (refering to the black guy)

I turn her shoulder so that she is facing only me and in a commanding tone:

Tommy: I came here to you. I don't know who he is and it really doesn't matter.

At this point, both the black guy and the other girl became spectators in my interaction. He's basically losing steam in his and can't hold his girl so he's watching me a bit.

I basically put my hands on the shoulder of my girl as I turn her 180 as I am walking so that I stay in front of her and her friend and the black guy are behind her (BLP bitches!) and we continue our conversation.

The other guy loses his girl and ejects. The other hottie didn't interrupt me at all.

Bangin' Cutie: My boyfriend is coming to pick me up now
Tommy: You can't get into that car.
Bangin' Cutie: Why not?
Tommy: Because we haven't fallin' in love yet
Bangin' Cutie: What if I'm already in love?
Tommy: I can wait..... I have about 10 seconds.
Bangin' Cutie: Haha....

That's about it. Her ride comes and she's gone. Oh well

____________________

Things I did well:
1) BLP
2) Kept a fun and flirty vibe during the B phase
3) Pushed beyond the boyfriend crap

Things I could have done better:
1) Approach earlier

FR 07/04/09: Solo Night Game in London

2009-07-09T16:10:00.001-04:00

Been a while since I wrote one of these....

I'm here in London on a business trip and I've been aching to go out, but scared shitless to do so, but I feel I have to. How else would the women here have a chance with me? I wimped out on Friday night, but I did spot a nightclub I targeted for Saturday night called "Amika". Despite wimping out, I read some old 'Pump Action' field reports to get myself going. Saturday rolls around and I am on my way to the ATM near the club and I see this tall, hot, young-looking, brunette dressed to kill with her friend waiting to cross the same street I was crossing.

Being in a foreign land alone was tough for me, I never did much traveling in my life, so the assumption I made here was that they would be friendly.

Tommy: You two look excellent tonight
Girls: Thank you!

I made sure to give the hottie 60% eye contact and her friend 40%.

Nothing spectacular, just chatted with them as we crossed the street.

Hottie: You're American?
Me: Yea, I'm from New York.
Hottie: I loved New York
Me: Where are you from?
Hottie: Australia
Me: That must be why I can understand your English!
Hottie: haha

I went on to talk about how the British English is difficult for me. Anyway, this was me being in the moment, and just chatting along. I find out later that she is going to the same nightclub as me, awesome!

While I was in line for the night club, I started chatting with the 2 girls behind me. After a couple of minutes, I realized I was at a pretty exclusive place, and asked the ladies if they would let me join their group getting in. They were cool with it. Not only that, they asked me to join their group for a little bit, which was nice - instant social proof.

The hottie from earlier saw me with those two girls and smiled at me when we made eye contact as she was walking by. Nice! To be honest though, the first exchange on the street felt rather awkward, it made me feel weird about reapproaching, but in the words of Johnny Wolf "You don't know!"

This nightclub has a pretty damn good amount of quality girls, so I definitely recommend it. They also had some American theme decor (I also overheard that it was an independence day party)

At one point I was wandering around and happened to come across the hottie and started chatting with her.

Me: Cool place
Hottie: yea, but the drinks are crazy expensive
Me: already here, too late! (I bounce a bit to the music and I see her bouncing with me a bit)
Me: Do you have any moves?
Hottie: Maybe later when it gets more packed and I've had more to drink

I shake my head in disagreement and proceed to take her hand and spin her!

Forgot what happened after that, but she went off.

I see her later and say hi again, and she invites me to sit with her and her friend. I haven't really run a good nightclub set in some time now, and I knew for certain I had to do move forward in conversation topics and get more sexual. but seriously, I have no fuckin what I was doing in this country.

Woah! As I typed that, I realized that I could have easily gone into talking about traveling, seeing how I am traveling.... I'm an idiot.

As it turns out, we talked about culture. She jokingly said Americans are idiots (we elected George Bush, twice), and she made it clear that she did not ride a kangaroo to school when I asked what Australians did. I jokingly said I had to carry knives and guns to school in New York. She said that's something she would have believed. I asked her if she knew how to properly use a boomerang as a joke, and she said "Yea! I can use one of those!" Haha.

She got up to go to the bar with her friend. I saw her later and danced with her for just a bit. That was about it....

_____________________________________________

Things I did that I had never done before
1) Go to a nightclub in another country
2) Solo game at a nightclub

Things I did well
1) Keep my cool for a good portion of the night
2) Kept an open mind about meeting people
3) Solid on the approach, both in tonality and in body language

Things I could have done better
1) Spam comfort topics until one hit and go for it
2) Assume a comfort topic was going to work and go for it
3) Move the girl
4) Compliance test
5) Deal with the friends better

FR 05/01/09 - It's not about them, it's about me

2009-05-04T10:43:00.001-04:00

On Friday night, I roll out with my friend Raven and did some bar hopping in the East Village. I went around to a couple of bars in the area, and it was tough. I went to a couple of really small bars and also this place called Phebe's.

Phebe's had a good amount of girls, but it was also quite loud and crowded. I did my usual tour, roamed around and talked to the cuties that crossed my path

Set 1:
Blow out

Set 2:
Polite exit

Set 3:
Blow out

Set 4:
Blow out

At this point, I was getting a little frustrated, like I didn't even get to game since I was not able to get past the first 20 seconds. Then I though to myself "it's not about them, it's about me". My self-worth, my evaluation of who I am should not be based on the reactions of 4 girls. I should always value myself more than the girls I am talking to. Given that, I decided to go and get blown out 3 more times before I go home and really soak it in.

Set 5:
Polite exit

Set 6:
Walking set - didn't stop walking

Set 7:
"You already approached my friend!" - Blow out

Well, I didn't get to 3 blow outs, but I did push myself despite the reactions I was getting. Based on that, I was pretty satisfied with myself. There will be nights like this, and it's nights like this where learn to value yourself above others. It's nights like this that forces you to embrace the fact that you are expressing yourself in the best manner possible and that's it's always about you, not about them.

FR 04/28/09 - Failed Compliance Test, Still Kissed the Girl

2009-04-30T14:50:00.001-04:00

Back at it like a crack addict. I'm back in NYC, met up with my good friend Raven and we hit some bars. It's unseasonably warm, so the bars are not that packed (and it's a weekday). Eventually end up at this bar that has open bar every Tuesday, so we know there will be a crowd. Harsh blowouts, polite exits, harsh blowout again! Ouch, I wanted to go home. Raven calls me out on being an ego protecting little bitch, tells me this is the time to push yourself. I thought of this quote:

"Character is not made of sunshine and roses. Like steel, it is forged in fire, between the hammer and the anvil." - Chin-Ning Chu

At this very moment, I spotted a tall skinny sexy red head with long wavy hair (I actually had made eye contact with her 10 minutes ago) and just started walking.

Martyr - You are cute as hell. Who are you!?
TallSexyRedhead - I'm TallSexyRedhead

Martyr - You cannot come out looking like this, guys are going to come over and hit on you day and night
TallSexyRedhead - Well, you're the first tonight
Martyr - (Ignoring that comment) Why would you do this? What do you want from me? What are you out here for?

The first two questions were just banter and said more like a statement, and the third one is the actual question to move the conversation forward.

We talk some more about what she is up to, I drop in that this is my first time out since I came back from LA. She's there for a 21st b-day party and free drinks

This is where the verbal part gets a little fuzzy because we jumped around a lot of different topics. She said she's been in New York for 4 years, I tell her I can definitely tell. She says she's about to graduate, I guess that she is graduating from F.I.T., made a good guess, lucky me. I tell her I wanted to be a professional basketball player when I was 14 and tell her about how I still play in tournaments and leagues and I talk about that. She talks about soccer. I tell her I could definitely take her (creating the her and I dynamic). I tell her if she were blond I would think she was be like an LA girl - laid back, fun, etc. I talk about my recent trip and career aspirations.

Thinking back, I can't believe i went through all those topics.

At one point in there somewhere, we move to the bar. I tried to lead her by the hand, but she half ass complied. She held my hand in a limp way, and then dropped her hand altogether. This shit used to phase me a lot, but no longer. Now I just kept progressing the interaction. I can't quite explain why, but I think this actually spiked attraction.

They had glow sticks hanging, I wanted to grab one and give it to her. So I grabbed one, and told her I had a gift for her. Haha.

We chat more and she asks me who I came here with. I didn't realize at the time, but she's almost thinking logistically, which means i should already have been thinking logistically at this point. She tells me she should spend some time with the birthday girl, and that I should grab my friend and join them. I respond playfully:

Martyr - Oh, so our first date is over. That was fun.
TallSexyRedHead - No it isn't! Not unless we allow it to be.
Martyr - It's fine, we can go on a second date in 10 minutes or so.

I go in to kiss her on the lips. This was one of the rare times (I don't recall another one) where I went for it and a girl kissed me back, but it wasn't a makeout. I end the kiss and tell her we're saving some for our second date.

Not getting the makeout affected my state. She may have even noticed the sub-communications related to it. I became a little bitch, and didn't reapproach. I didn't even get her number (WTF!?)

Yea, that fuckin ego needs to be destroyed.

____________________________________________

Things I did that I had never done:
1) Not giving a shit when she didn't hold my hand

Things I did well
1) A lot of conversational topics related to her, me, or her and I
2) Discarded topics of conversation I didn't like

Things I could have done better
1) Not give a shit that I didn't get a makeout
2) Think logistically (pull, pull, pull!)
3) Not give a fuck and go back in set
4) Grab her phone number early on

FR 04/24/09 - Martyr visits LA and makes out with a Stripper

2009-04-28T11:20:00.005-04:00

California is beautiful. You guys out there really made me work. I touched down around 1:20, got picked up and the schedule went like this:

2:00PM - Daygame at UCLA
3:30PM - Daygame at 3rd St Promenade
8:30PM - Dinner at UCLA Dining hall
10:00PM - Saddle Ranch, The Standard, some other bars on Sunset Blvd.
2:15PM - Mel's Diner

(Yes, I had my luggage in someone's car the entire time)

I felt like I was living the life of Neil Strauss.

Most of my sets were pretty good. Flirty, good energy, good vibes. Ray and Tank showed me some cool spots. I'm going to write about 2 of the sets I had.

____________________________________________

1) The set I bitch out:

I was at this divey bar and spotted this blond in red. Frickin hot. I walk over to her and run my mouth.

Not going to lie, beer helped me get into state. But whatever, first time in California

Martyr - You are fuckin adorable, who are you?
BlondinRed - Thank you! (I think she returned the compliment)
Martyr - I just got to LA, trying to enjoy myself, and here you are all adorable, making me come over to say hi, what are you doing to me? I'm only a man here!

She giggles, I'm in.

Just chilled out with her at the bar and told her what I was doing in LA, what I liked about the area.

She has this orbiting friend that was sitting on the other side of her, and because i had my back to the bar, he had to talk over her shoulder if he wanted to get into the conversation. Awesome.

We had already talked a little about what I was doing, so I asked her what she was up to. Before she could answer, I dropped in a quick cold read

Martyr - You are a creative type (credit Straycat)
BlondinRed - Yea I am! I'm a writer!

So at this point, I've already surveyed the area. There is a makeout area right around the corner, I just need to stop being a little pussy bitch, and I got this.

We vibe some more, and we're standing closer and closer. I tell her I have a tattoo on my back, which she demands to see and grabs at one of the buttons. I stop her telling her to chill out, I can undress myself. Show her the tattoo. We vibe some more, and now her lips are 3 inches from my face. I knew, I KNEW all I had to do was say, I have something else to show you, and take her around the corner and the makeout would be there. I completely bitched out. She even throws compliments at me here and there, however, I was still a little bitch

She says she needs to go to the bathroom, and walks. The orbiting friend says to me "did you creep her out already?". I sarcastically say "yea, absolutely". He ends up walking after her, I was too dumb (drunk?) at the time, but I realized later, he went to get her away from me because he was in danger of losing her to me.

I look around for her but it was too late, they had already left.

I meet up with Tank, and he saw the interaction occur, he gave me shit about not kissing her when she was 3 inches away, he told me about the extraction spot around the corner (which I already knew about). Yea, I was a little bitch....

____________________________________________

2) Gaming a stripper:

We go walking down Sunset Blvd, past this strip club named "Body Shop" and joked about going there after the sargathon is over. At the very next bar, I see this hot blond chick with fishnet gloves/sleeves and a bangin' body. Yea... this is mine, I want this.

Martyr - You are fuckin adorable. Who are you?
BanginBodyBlond - Who am I? Who are you!?
Martyr - You can't stand around looking like that, this is what is going to happen, I can't help but to come hit on you, I'm only a man here!
BanginBodyBlond - (laughing) My name is BanginBodyBlond. Did you follow me from that club?
Martyr - (Confused) No. What's up there? (I really forgot what I had walked past)
BanginBodyBlond - It's a club, I'm a dancer there, sometimes guys follow us down to here

Holy Shit! I am talking to a stripper, niiiiiiice!

She finishes her cigarette and we go inside for a drink. Immediately, I locate a good place to sit.

We grab our drinks and I lead her to a good spot to sit at. I tell her about why I am in LA, tell her I am visiting from NYC. She talks about how she wants to move there. Share some stories. She does the same. I do a cold read about her being someone creative. She tells me she aspires to be a stage actress. I talk about basketball and traveling.

Overall, we had a pretty flirty vibe. Flirty banter combined with a direct opener allowed her to know I was there with intent. She's in between shifts, so I'm kind of in a slight time crunch. Grab her number, and chat more.

BanginBodyBlond - What time is it? I think I have to get back to work
Martyr - It's [read my watch].
(she gets up)
BanginBodyBlond - You have my number, if you really are going to call me. (Weird, she doubts I want to call her, no idea why that's the case. If anyone has insight, please let me know.)
Martyr - I'll walk you out.

As we are walking, I grab her hand, and I ask her

Martyr - On a scale from one to ten, how good of a kisser are you?
BanginBodyBlond - That is something I am definitely very good at. Some other fluff. I would have to say I'm a 10.
Martyr - Excellent, come here. (As I say this, I am pulling her in with my arms and moving forward with my lips.)

Full blown makeout right outside the bar with a stripper. Niiiiice

Martyr - Pretty good, 9.5
BanginBodyBlond - Haha! (as she waves and goes back to work)

I have to be honest, I was surprised at how little I had to deviate from the game plan to for this interaction.

Job Hunting

2009-04-10T14:41:00.003-04:00

I've been job hunting lately, and it hasn't been easy. I already do work full time, so I am not exactly starving for work, but I am however becoming more and more dissatisfied with my current job. I work 25 miles outside New York City (35 miles outside Manhattan) where I feel I am underpaid. In addition, recently the work has become repetitive and will continue to be that way for the foreseeable future.

Even though the economy is poor shape, I have been actively looking for employment in Manhattan. Being an engineer, Manhattan is not so great of a place. I also want to have a job that is related to sustainable energy. That actually is the reason I went back to graduate school and got my master's. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of that.

If anyone out there can suggest a field/industry I can look into in Manhattan for an engineering job related to sustainable energy, please let me know. Even if it doesn't relate to sustainable energy, please let me know.

I have 3 years of experience as an engineer spanning component design, flow and heat transfer simulation, and cooling delivery design.

I have a Bachelor's degree from Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute and a Master's degree from Stony Brook University, both in mechanical engineering.

Started a 30 day challenge

2009-03-25T12:16:00.003-04:00

Hey everyone,

I started a 30 day challenge on March 24. I will be updating daily, the blog can be found at:

http://martyr30.blogspot.com/

Enjoy!

How much attraction do you need?

2009-02-26T16:07:00.004-05:00

I don't like Mystery Method, and I don't like Magic Bullets (Love Systems) structure to game. I think by having a phase where your goal is to generate female to male attraction, you are automatically assuming that you need to demonstrate how attractive you are, and that in itself sub-communicates that you are of lower value. I know some will argue that girls have no idea who you are when you walk up to them, and that is reason enough to generate attraction, but I disagree. I think by walking up to them, you have already shown that you have balls. I think by assuming you deserve to talk to her demonstrates that you are someone who is self-assured. Of course, your body language and you vocal skills need to be congruent with what gets assumed, and that I think is the core essence of attraction.

How much attraction do you need? I think enough for her to let you keep conversing with her is all you need. I don't think attraction gets you laid. I think that enough for her to want to keep conversing with you, combined with your ability to lead an interaction towards sex or a relationship is what ultimately gets you what you want.

I've been told by my friends/wings that I don't do enough attraction material. They're right, but I am also trying to build myself up to be a person that doesn't need it. I do lose a lot of sets right off the bat because I go direct, and I don't have an elaborate routine stack ready to go. I also feel that there's enough hot girls that are cool with me walking up to them and hitting on them that it doesn't matter.

Like I said in an earlier post, I have this inner game issue where I am not used to having a lot of women in my life, and therefore I don't have a screening mentality. Because of that, I tend to talk a lot, and do a lot of bantering. I find that having routines ready to go (yes, I do have some routines, but not necessarily a stack) helps me to get through a conversation, however, I also get stuck talking at the girl, instead of conversing with her, finding out if I actually like her beyond her looks.

I was browsing some pickup blogs and I came across the following article. I like the internal reframes he listed on there, and I'm going to try to actively do these when I am interacting with girls.

http://www.kissntale.com/2008/12/31/thinking-the-natural-way/

Been Reading the Archives of the Asian Playboy

2009-02-20T13:11:00.006-05:00

Some good posts:

http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2005/06/nature-of-verbal-game-old-article.html
http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2006/03/how-can-you-be-one-of-successful-pick.html

This is what happens when I get depressed and negative, I end up becoming a keyboard jockey. Don't worry, I will still be going out, and flirting with ladies. We'll see how this weekend goes.

Inner Game Issues

2009-02-20T12:35:00.009-05:00

I have inner game issues. I don't know what exactly the inner game issue are but I have found the following symptoms of it:

I eject too early, especially when things are going well
I end up entertaining the girl too much, instead of building comfort and connection
I don't qualify girls enough, and it appears that a cute face is all I look for
I have an unwillingness to call/text a girl more than once, and I assume she doesn't want to talk to me
I am not aggressive enough
I end up enjoying the moment too much and forget about trying to get the girl

There's other symptoms as well, which I don't have off the top of my head, but I have noticed others. I don't know where the inner game issues stem from, which isn't too bad as long as I deal with these symptoms

I would also like to add that I can get a little manic depressive, and I want to thank all my friends for being able to put up with it.

FR 02/14/09 - 10 Seconds to Makeout - My First Asian

2009-02-18T14:00:00.003-05:00

I was feeling good from the bantering (I only felt bad about how poor my comfort was after the weekend ended), so approaching was pretty easy that night. This is basically a cattle call approach

A (Assume, Approach, and Attract)
Saw Asian girl walk by with her friend. I say hi, and basically wait and assume they would stop walking.

Tommy - You are fuckin adorable
Asian Girl - Thank you!

Her friend is pulling her away, and I noticeably take notice of it.

Tommy - You know? Have a good night, maybe we'll chat later
Asian Girl - Awwwwwwe, thanks!

I go in to kiss her on the cheek and as I am going in, I think to myself, fuck it, and I start making out with her, at which point her friend really pulls her away.

10 seconds of talking, 5 seconds of making out. Pretty good ratio I think.

I never approach Asian girls, so I almost feel like a frat boy guy yelling "I had my first Asian!" Haha.

The next day I am on the phone with William recapping my weekend/stories. He tells me it sounds like I have been doing a lot of flash game. He was right....

Things I did that I had never done
1) Go for a makeout without any words to preface it

Things I did that well
1) Approach and Attract

Things I could have done better
1) Try to get laid

FR 02/14/09 - Tried to Take AFC Adam Lyons Set

2009-02-18T13:59:00.002-05:00

Adam Lyons was having a bootcamp at my regular venue. One of his assistant coaches figured I was a community guy, and we chatted for a bit. Cool guys, the coaches and Adam Lyons. At one point, one of the assistant coaches asked me if I wanted to amog Adam, I said sure

A (Assume, Attract, Approach)
I walk over, and excuse myself from both the girl and Adam, and then I proceed to basically ignore Adam the rest of the set

"You are fucking Adorable, I wanted to come meet you"

B (Be in the Moment, Banter, Buying Temperature)
Chatted with the girl, got her to turn towards me. Adam just sits and chills.

C (Comfort, Connection, and Compliance)
I didn't try to move the girl because for whatever reason, I thought it would be more fun to game her with Adam in the audience. I basically ignored physical comfort and didn't test for or get any compliance.

D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualify)
I held her hand here and there, she said something cute, and I qualified her for it and kissed her on top of the head.

At some point, she looks back over to her friends. That's when Adam gets up and walks her over to them, I'm like wtf? I didn't try to reengage.

So what did I do wrong -
1) Didn't move her
2) Didn't BLP Adam away
3) Didn't build any connections
4) Didn't tone down the energy when I probably could have had compliance for it
5) Talked too much and didn't have her talk as much

Found out later that the whole time I was chatting with her, Adam was kinoing with his leg (he was seated and she was standing)

Things I did that I had never done
1) Tried to AMOG a pickup instructor

Things I did well
1) A and B were superb

Things I could have done better
1) Have a more complete interaction
2) Try to get the girl instead of running flash game

FR 02/14/09 - Escalate too Quickly and You Lose the Girl

2009-02-18T13:56:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I can't believe how few mistakes I am allowed. Perhaps because I am really bad at damage control, I don't know.

A (Assume, Attract, Approach)
Say a cute blond with a sparkly dress. My friend went to the bar to order drinks. I go over to help him bring them back, but I don't. Instead, I take my beer and approach the tall blond

Tommy - You are fuckin adorable, I had to come over and say hi
HBTallBlond - Omg, thank you! (grabs my necklace) What's this?
Tommy - It's my necklace, and your name is?
HBTallBlond - I'm HBTallBlond
Tommy - What's your story tonight?
HBTallBlond - We're celebrating my friend's b-day
Tommy - Nice, you're going to be my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes (as I clawed her)
HBTallBlond - You want me to be your girlfriend? (beaming with a smile)
Tommy - If we ever break up though, I am keeping the DVD collection
HBTallBlond - You can't do that! I own most of them

During this time, I gave my hand for her to shake, did the "gentleman's grace", and then moved her hand from my right to my left, and we were holding hands within 30 seconds. Which was broken up during the claw, and then resumed shortly after.

I suppose that would be A going to B, and then quick D. So what is missing? Yep.... C

B (Be in the Moment, Bantering, and Buying Temperature)
It was a fun conversation. Played around with the role play some more. Learned some facebook type information from her (where from, activities, school)

Her friends would come in to check on her one at a time, and she would introduce me to her friends as her 10-minute boyfriend.

C (Comfort, Connection, and Compliance)
She plays xyz sport, which is something I love. I talked about how I played it, but I didn't really talk about why or what I get out of it. My C needs a lot of work.

D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualification)
Continued with the role play, but I should have toned down the energy as the interaction went on.

E (Evaluate, Escalate, and Extract)
She actually suggested I ditch my plans and go with her and her friends to this club they were going to after this bar visit early on in the interaction. Later on, I tried to talk about romance (forgot to tone the energy down when I did it though) and then talk about sex (which went really badly). I think a combination of factors fucked me up. Went into sexual topics too early (within 10 minutes), she was fairly young and perhaps not ready for that (she was 21), the energy was still fun and playful (need to control that shit). She became cold and I lost the set.

___________________________________

Things I did that I had never done:
1) Hand holding within 30 seconds

Things I did well
1) Stick the approach

Things I could have done better
1) Calibrate to the situation on when to escalate
2) Spend time in C

FR 02/12/09 - "No Asian in Me, at Least Not in a While"

2009-02-18T13:53:00.001-05:00

I roll out to this dive bar area where I used to go when I first started. When I first started, I would bounce bar to bar because I was too afraid to approach the one attractive girl that each bar would offer. Nowadays, I feel much better about that. I walked in and immediately see this girl with amazing breasts, and I knew I had to approach. I was too scared to initially so I kept walking to the back, got my beer, and went for it.

A (Assume, Approach, and Attract)
I saw some guys vulturing over her, and I knew if I went over there with them around, it would help me more. Actually, I didn't know, I just assumed that my approach would be stronger with an audience like that.
"Hi, you are fucking adorable, what is your story tonight?"

B (Be in the Moment, Banter, and Buying Temperature)
I was feeling good, so I just shared that vibe. I talked about how I don't care that I have work in the morning, I wanted to go out and have fun. She has a different work schedule, so this is actually her :Saturday night".

C (Comfort, Connect, and Compliance)
Found out she works at the xyz, which is interesting because this girl I knew from the 8th grade also works there, who apparently is friendly with her (small world). Light level connection. I decided to change threads. I asked about why she works at xyz, and then delved deeper into her love of abc. I was sloppy, and didn't try to find a connection with me. She kept a certain buffer in front of her, making kino a bit difficult.

B
Went back to B because I felt I needed more work here (I think I should have went deeper into C, this was a mistake). I told her that today I'm on my best behavior, and that I am actually a complete asshole. She didn't believe me, so I told her to try to be a bitch to me. She said she couldn't. So I tried to hold a serious face and called her a total bitch, she laughs.

"You're a total bitch, and I'm a complete asshole. We're perfect together"
I repeat this to her friend, and her friend agrees with me

D (Direct Interest, Dominance, and Disqualification)
I went for her number earlier, didn't get it. But kept gaming. I repeated that she was adorable at some point, after she made this laugh and kissed her on the top of the head.

I pick up her hand, ask her if she can dance, and then I have her do a little spin for me.

She tells me she hasn't has sex in a year in a half. Then she tells me she is seeing someone who is fighting in Iraq. Then she tells me she's been in a lot of serious relationships, and then she drops this one:

Earlier, she has told me she was half Italian, and the other half some mix.

Then this interaction happens:

Tommy: Okay, Italian girl who is part ..., ..., ...
HBChest: Irish, German.... No Asian, there's no Asian in me, at least not in a while

I was like.... whoa, nice to know! I tried to get her to go to a different bar with some friends and I. No dice. Tried to get her number. Failed. Didn't go for a kiss. So that's about all I have....

_________________________________________________________

Things I tried to do that I have never done
1) Tried to qualify a girl on whether or not she can dance

Things I did well
1) Ample amount of direct interest without being creepy

Things I could have done better
1) Too much direct interest without comfort
2) Be more persistent

FR 02/11/09 - 2 Minute Girlfriend

2009-02-12T13:23:00.004-05:00

Hey everyone. This FR came as part of my 30 day challenge (this was night 6). It's been exhausting so far, but I am enjoying it. So here comes the FR:

I went to a bar last night near a college campus, and close to my parent's house where they still have a room for me. Nice atmosphere, young girls, and a lot of fratboy dudes. Anyway, made a bunch of approaches that sucked, no idea what I was doing wrong in them. Anyway, as I was moving, I noticed a girl about to pass me who I had already made fairly strong eye contact with earlier

For this girl, because of the type of eye contact we had already exchanged, I had already told myself that I was going to approach her when I saw her not waiting for beer, and I already knew this was going to blow open pretty easily.

We were walking in opposite directions, but about to cross paths.....

Martyr (kino open) - Hey (stopped walking, and assumed she would also stop walking)
HBCollege - Hello
Martyr - You (pause) cute as hell tonight.
HBCollege - Thank you! What is your name?

Touching barrier never existed. Touching during some small talk.

We both were straying away from our groups as they walked away from us, she had a friend come back to get her, who she blew off momentarily, but she still went back to them after some words with me.

When she would pass me on the dance floor, we did a little bit of dancing, some hand holding, and exchanged piercing eye contact combined with seductive smiling.

I didn't go much into comfort, I admit. I should have tried to sit her down. I did do some fun dominance and direct interest. At one point when she was chatting with 2 friends, I walked over to her and started talking (I really don't remember what I said). I told her to come meet my friends, and held out my hand behind me as I started walking away, which she took. I introduced her to my friends and told them that this is my girlfriend for the next 2 minutes (and "clawed her" RSD style!). She was completely into it, and role played a little. We held hands through much of this, and continued to hold hands every time we were chatting later that night.

Talked a little bit about having been in love in the past (not sure if this is such a good things to share but I thought it flowed at the time).

I noticed she knew a lot of the guys there and danced with a lot of them. I was cool about it, but I thought it would be fun to call her out on it.

Martyr - Is there any guy here you aren't flirting with?
HBCollege - I'm a flirt, it's my personality.
Martyr - And you're completely cool with it, I like that.

I was trying to qualify and also show that I wasn't affected at all not being the only guy she was chatting with.

Throughout the night, I kissed her on the top of the head and on the cheek a bunch of times, and she initiated it a bunch of times as well, so I will admit... I wimped out on going for a makeout.

Ended it with being kicked out of the dancing area (bar was closing). I walked up to her and extracted her from her group again. Told her we should chill again, and got her number.

____________________________________________________________________________

Things I tried that I had never done:
1) Work a set throughout the night through fragmented time intervals

Things I did well
1) Touching, eye contact, seductive glances
2) Qualified a girl beyond her looks (I haven't done that enough lately)
3) Comfortably danced with a stranger (I realized I had to learn how to dance, and at the very least try, so I've been working on doing it more lately)

Things I could have done better
1) Sit her down
2) More comfort
3) Didn't think about extraction at all

The Hammer, the Technique, and the Nailing

2009-01-13T13:05:00.005-05:00

I thought of this analogy last night, and I found it really amusing so I'll post it here. In terms of getting girls, you can think of it as a hammer banging away at a nails.

1) Strike Frequency - this is how many times you approach a girl, how many times you try to make out with a girl, how many times you put yourself in a position to get a girl, etc. The more times you strike the hammer, the better your chances are at nailing.

2) Hammering Technique - the more times you strike, the more opportunities you have to improve your ability to strike. The more you analyze it (field reports), the more you see your mistakes. If you have outside help in analyzing it (wings, coaches), that also helps you to improve your technique. I suppose this is what you would call "game". This will optimize the amount of times you successfully nail given what you have to work with.

3) Your Hammer - This is what you have to work with - your existing identity, your physical appearance, your passions, your ambitions, your personality. If you have a really good tool to work with, then you wouldn't need to strike as often or as well. This part can also be worked on (lifestyle). So work on improving your tool if you want the nailing to be easier.

In real life, I know these are inter-related - if you're confident (hammer) then you will approach more often (strike frequency), if you are skillful in moving interactions forward (technique) then you will recognize and take opportunities more often (strike frequency), if you strike a lot and get lucky (strike frequency) then your confidence will improve (hammer).

However, my point is that all three aspects need to be improved upon, so pound away a ton, work on improving your ability to pound, work on making what you have to pound with better, and you'll end up nailing a lot.

FR 01/02/09 - Made Guy Get Desperate and Needy

2009-01-03T18:12:00.006-05:00

William spotted this cute ass girl with dirty blond hair who showed up with an entourage of people, both guys and girls. He told me something I already knew - "Here comes the Long Island chick". He knows I like Long Island looking girls. I didn't approach her at the time, but after spotting her a couple more times that night, I didn't care who she was with, I wanted to go for that one. She was chatting with this guy at the time, and I was more than prepared for an amog battle. In fact, as I approached, I mentioned to Unreal - watch this guy try to tool me.

Martyr - Young Lady
HBDirtyBlonde - Yes?
Martyr - I noticed you about an hour ago, and I wanted to come say hi to you, and I didn't, but I'm here now, hi! You are totally gorgeous
HBDirtyBlonde - Thank you! I'm HBDirtyBlonde
Martyr - I'm Martyr

Notice how the guy was basically never in the picture. In fact, Unreal told me the guy watched me in astonishment, and eventually walked away to talk to some other friends.

I talked about my dislike of bars and nightclubs, however, they exist for me to interact with people. I told her she looked like a Long Island girl (she isn't).

Talked about New Years Resolutions. I shared mine, she shared hers, turns out hers is sports related. I told her about my basketball team, and how I am teaching my 14 year old cousin how to play tennis. She's asking me questions about my basketball team, and we talked about the sports she played growing up.

She gets pulled away from me by her friends (dammit! again tonight!). Anyway, I ended up talking to other girls, but I did notice her again later that night. The guy she was chatting with earlier has become as needy as a guy is going to get. He was ignoring the rest of the social group, followed her around, he was DETERMINED not to give me another window. I ended up chatting with other girls. Eventually, Unreal tells me she went over to coat check. Sure, I'll reapproach.

Walked over to her -
Martyr - Hey HBDirtyBlonde, I gotta tell you something
HBDirtyBlonde - Yes?
Martyr - I met this really sweet girl earlier and I completely forgot to ask her if she would go on a date with me
HBDirtyBlonde - Oh?
Martyr - Yes, would you go on a date with me?
HBDirtyBlonde (with hand on my chest) - Awe, I have a boyfriend
Martyr - That doesn't answer my question. Would you go on a date with me?
HBDirtyBlonde (with increasing amounts of touching between us) - I'm a good girl, but you'll find someone. I'll pinky swear on that.

Got a kiss on the cheek and that was about the end of it. I went for it, there is no way that guy orbiting her is her boyfriend, he can continue to waste time as he chooses.

_________________________________________________________________

Things I did that I had never done
Approached a girl who was chatting with just one guy at a nightclub setting

Things I did well
Went right into rapport building.
Made the guy irrelevant

Things I could have done better
Not sure... I thought I was pretty solid.

Why Attraction Switch Stories Work

2009-01-02T11:16:00.003-05:00

Hey everyone,

Why do attraction switch stories work? Personally, I don't truly believe that it's triggering the switches that gets the girl to be attracted to you. In fact, I believe that what gets you the girl is successfully LEADING an interaction, from approach to bantering to comfort to direct interest to escalation, and only that. However, I do believe that story telling is important in filling that time. It's important for the girl to know who you are, at some level. She may not need your life story, or even the story of your week, but she needs something to know that the guy she wants to sleep with is not a loser.

Noticed how I said she wants him to not be a loser, as opposed to the most attractive person she's met in a while. This is why I believe the demonstration of higher value stories work. As long as you follow the switches, you avoid being painted as a loser while letting her know you better. The following is a list of some attraction switches I try to hit when I tell my stories and the antithesis of those attraction switches.

1 - Passionate Man - Disinterested Man
2 - Pre-selected by Women - Deselected by Women
3 - Man with Future Ambitions - Man of No Desires
4 - Protector of Loved Ones - Destroyer of Loves Ones
5 - Man of Action - Man of Inaction
6 - Sense of Humor - Lack of Humor
7 - Energetic / Playful - Lethargic / Dull
8 - Financial Status - Financial Instability
9 - Experienced Man - Inexperienced Man
10 - Sexual Safety - Sexual Risk

Again, I don't think it's exactly the attraction switches that gets you the girl. I think it's letting her know who you are, while avoiding the antithesis of the attraction switches, while you lead an interaction, that gets you the girl. Guys who are naturally good with women naturally share who they are without having to keep the attraction switches in mind because they naturally avoid the antithesis of the attraction switches.

So for guys who are not naturally good in relating to women, try to alter stories that paint you as a loser (i.e. not following the attraction switches), and try to relate your experiences to others following the attraction switches. If you are not naturally good at improvising stories, then you need to sit down and figure out what you want the world (female world) to know about you, and then write down a couple of stories to tell to convey that. Use the attraction switches as a guideline to make sure you are not painting yourself in an unattractive way. You'll be amazed how much more people will respect you and be attracted to who you already are.

If you truly do not have stories about yourself that fall into attraction switch categories, you need to take a good hard look at who you are and consider working on that.

Not Giving a Shit

2008-12-29T10:00:00.002-05:00

Back before all of this, when I would get slighted by friends, I would go into my head and ask why they would do something like that. I would question why I was overlooked, and perhaps not liked. It was really shitty, to want to be included, not get included, and then question why. I never called people out and I continued to keep them around, hoping that it would turn around.

Today, I am a different man. Honestly, in the end, it doesn't really matter. If they choose not to include me in something, it really doesn't matter the reasons why. And even if they verbalized it to me, actions always speak louder than words. Yes, I'll call them out on things if I deemed it to be necessary, but my time is valuable, even if I don't have alternatives to fill it. Part of becoming a better man is having standards for how you are treated. If you are not treated well, begging or pleading for better treatment, using guilt, demanding better treatment are all very low value things to do. Thinking about why they would do that to you is very self-deprecating. Yes, it can be as simple as an oversight, which is fine. Don't lower yourself to be included by others.

Me Me Me

2008-11-12T10:37:00.003-05:00

I have an overblown ego. My favorite topic of conversation is me, me, me. I am self-centered (but not selfish). The non-selfish things I do in life are done just to make me feel good. I hate losing, in just about anything, arguments, sports, displays of self-worth. I do think that I am a gift to any girl I decide to chat with and any girl that decides to be with me. I do feel that it is my duty to share my awesome self with the world. It's self-serving and self-centered, but at the same time selfless.

Causes of Anxiety

2008-11-07T19:23:00.001-05:00

I used to get approach anxiety really bad, and I still do, but in a different way. I used to think of all the ways the girl is going to embarrass me, but I know now that it just doesn't happen. I used to think that it would suck if I went up to a girl and she didn't like me, but that's just how it goes.

So what gives me anxiety now?
It's weird, especially when I have a good week, the very next night or week, I will have anxiety on my way home from work, or on my way out to meet girls. It's this feeling that I can't possibly live up to what I had accomplished last time out. Yes, it is definitely my ego getting in the way. Not to mention, when I debrief the interaction and i recognize points where I could have gone further in the interaction, and recognized key things I can fix for next time a similar situation occurs, I feel this need to somehow bring myself back to that exact situation, to that exact point in the interaction with a different girl, so that I can fix my mistake, even though I KNOW that every interaction is unique.

Sometimes I get indifference. I would go out, have a great interaction with a girl, and nothing comes out of it after the fact. That in itself sucks, but it's something that happens, cold approach isn't supposed to be easy. The thing is, I tend to project that into the next interaction. I go into the "what's the point" attitude. It's as if I act like I already know it's going to go nowhere and therefore I don't want to put in the effort, which is a terrible mindset to have.

Tonight I am going out, and I am going to do my best to not allow these things to cause me anxiety so that I can share myself with all the sexy ladies of the world.

Guys who are sitting at home, go out and flirt with women, it's a lot of fun. Realize that you don't know what is going to happen in an interaction until you are living it, in the moment.

FR: 10/30/2008 - Starbucks

2008-11-04T13:07:00.000-05:00

Below is a snippet of a conversation I had with a friend about a girl I met.

Martyr - Last week, I went to Starbucks on Wednesday and I noticed a cute girl. She works there, but she was sitting to the side with a hoodie on and reading a book. I go over and say hi to her and told her i worked at the next building asked if she worked there (like I said, I recognized her). Pretty much really weak stuff, but the point is I made the approach. I bailed on it after a couple of words, but i did get her name. The next day, I see her again, doing the same thing and I say hi to her. I mentioned to her that she's trying to fit in with everyone again (with the hoodie and sitting to the side reading a book), but that was all and I ended up going back to my office. (Weak!)

TL - Haha, nice

Martyr - I sit at my desk for almost 10 minutes wondering why I didn't sit and chat with her, so i got up and went back down there.

TL - Is she cute? Does she work here?

Martyr - Yes. So i go back and I ask her if she has a couple of minutes and she says she has 7 (on break). Her leg was resting on a chair, and she moves her legs off the chair so that I could sit. I sit and I say, I just felt compelled to come back and chat with you. We chat for at least 10 minutes. I was really proud of myself. She's really cute and definitely a really sweet girl.

TL - Nice

Martyr - Apparently she dated some Asian guy at R.P.I. (not me)

TL - YEAH?????? STFU

Martyr - I doubt the guy was as charming as I was though

TL - I agree

Martyr - I forgot what we talked about, but I remembered asking myself at one point, what is going on in your life that is attractive that you can share with her. I told her I was going over to my 14 year old cousin's house that night to help her with her math homework. I heard she wasn't doing well the previous night and I felt a need to go help her get caught up and especially since she's going to the same high school I went to, I felt this connection with her and i just cant let her stumble.

TL - Your cousin goes to stuy? Nice.

Martyr - That story hit perfectly, she absolutely melted.

TL - Nice, now u guys can go grab lunch or something.

Martyr - Maybe. I was waiting in line for coffee today and she saw me and waved and smiled at me. I got to the cashier and I said to the cashier (a different girl) I haven't voted yet today, but I promise you I will after work (free coffee if you voted today) and the cute girl overheard and laughed. I didn't even think it was that funny. She must have been paying attention. I got free coffee. I love flirting with women.

==============================================================================

There's more - this conversation took place during the event:

1:50 PM me: yesterday, i said hi to the girl that works at starbucks

she was taking a break

it was pretty weak

D: man, you have got to see me work

I get free coffee, or free coffee upgrades

me: i said hi to her again today, but i am definitely headed towards friendzone

D: I get offered to make out and have sex

I get free bagles

1:51 PM me: how do i stay out of friendzone without creeping someone out

i got it

D: most bars all I have to do is bend over the bar and the bartender is at my side

um, you grow boobs

me: i said hi to her again today

again, it was worthless chatter

1:52 PM i think next time i see her on break, i am going to join her at her table

and have coffee with her

D: sounds good

me: today was weird because co workers went there with me

D: just don't say what bacon boy said to me

me: they would be watching

D: yeah

guys are crazy

1:54 PM me: i've been nice to her, which is ok, i need to turn on my inner flirt

what if i went back now

to sit with her

would that be creepy?

D: too strange

don't do it

me: but then there's no doubt of my intent

right now it's straight to friend zone

1:56 PM D: you don't know eachother enough to be in friend zone

ok, go

but don't be wierd

ask if you can sit and have coffee with her

but when you ask her out, don't ask to have coffee :P

me: hahaha

i might not ask her out at all

1:57 PM i was nervous when i saw her today

i wasnt nervous the first time i said hi to her

D: well you are nervous now because she is a prospect

1:58 PM me: right

with complete strangers

i have nothing to lose

here i already established a little something

D: yeah, true

1:59 PM so you know what I am nervous about

election day

12 minutes

2:11 PM me: she went to bucknell

dated an asian guy from rpi

D: ?

me: fluent in mandarin

D: oh, you taked to her

me: grew up in long island

minutes away from where we were

2:12 PM trying to get into publishing

2:13 PM recently graduated (this past may)

she knows where i am from

and what i am up to tonight

and what i do at work and where i want to be (san diego)

2:14 PM wasnt fllirty enough, but i got through some basic stuff

D: that's cool

me: i did something 80% of other guys wouldnt be able to do

2:15 PM D: you showered this morning?

me: .....

2:16 PM D: that is something 80% of other guys wouldn't be able to do

2:17 PM me: i did shower this morning

i was referring to sitting down and chatting with a complete stranger during the day

D: I know, I was joking you silly boy you

8 minutes

2:26 PM me: i was nervous

D: aw

8 minutes

2:35 PM me: i always am

thanks for saying "ok, go"

not that i needed you permission

but it helped

2:36 PM D: yeah

I thought about it

and being a girl, I should be more "romantic"

2:37 PM and that leads me to thinking about how people should just take the plunges they need to take

there is this song called "If it kills me" by jason mraz

you should check it out

me: not at work

2:39 PM D: ok

What I Believe Game is at the Moment

2008-11-04T12:07:00.001-05:00

I think for me, and for a lot of other people getting into game, we thought that by having killer game, we can get any girl we want. This is simply not true. Not by a long shot. Since being in the field a lot and meeting a lot of women, I have a new idea of what game is, and what a pickup entails. First things first, I know even with the best game in the world, I cannot go up to just any girl and have her. Women (and men) are emotional creatures, and you may have caught them at a bad time, or they are simply not interested in dating outside their pre-existing relationships or a variety of other reasons. You may just not be good looking enough for her. I know that I am not a great looking guy, and being a minority that is perceived as non-sexual definitely does not help, but I do know that I have in the past made approaches on extremely hot women and gotten attraction instantly. Does it happen all the time? Hell no! Does it happen often enough that I will keep approaching extremely hot women? Hell yes!

So what exactly is game to me? Well first off, to me, game is being able to make yourself as attractive as possible, through both external and internal means. External being your look, your body language, your tonality, your ability to make strong eye contact. Internal being your lifestyle. Having an attractive lifestyle that girls are attracted to which involve having a strong identity, being a risk taker, having passions in life, etc. Once you have that down, you can walk up to girls and be that attractive guy you already are. Is that enough? No. The second part of game is to lead the interaction forward. That is a little more complicated manner, which I am still trying to figure out. But this involves exciting the girl emotionally, being able to build comfort with the girl, showing her that you are interested in more than just conversation, expressing things that reflect the attractive person that you already are, etc.

So game is two folds. You are increasing the amount of girls that are attracted to you (you will never get to 100%, but you can definitely improve the percentage you start at dramatically), and with those where there is mutual attraction, you are able to lead it forward towards an end goal (one night stand, bed buddies, exclusive relationship, etc.)

Good luck.

FR 10/31/08 - Halloween Craziness

2008-11-03T13:28:00.001-05:00

I know I haven't posted in a while, and initially I was hesitant about posting this field report because I didn't want to stroke my ego for having a good night, but William mentioned that this is a breakthrough in my reality and I should document it, and be accountable to pushing myself even further beyond this, and so I decided to write this 2 part FR

Halloween night - I was too lazy to get a costume, and I recalled a statement my friend made a week prior about my new style (she hadn't seen me in a year). She mentioned I looked all punk rock now, and that she liked the new look. I decided to dress the way I normally do, added a Tinsley Tattoo sleeve, grabbed the drum sticks from my Rock Band set, and poof! I am now a drummer in a rock band, done!

I actually had a number of interactions, direct approached the entire night, even though I thought that going direct may not have been good because these girls in the skimpy costumes were already getting that all night, but I didn't care. It actually worked out, I did have some good interactons. At one point, I noticed this girl in a Little Red Riding Hood costume...

Not only was my drummer "costume" easy, it was a stereotype of someone girls want to sleep with, and since it involved no mask and no makeup, there's one less barrier for a girl to get through.
On my way to the bathroom, I noticed this girl walking in the opposite direction, towards something/someone behind me, I kept eye contact as we closed the distance between us. Instead of walking past her, I decided to stop in front of her.

We start making out. No words at all, just liplock. And then she walks away from me.

On my way out of the bathroom, as I am walking towards my friends, I notice her again, I touch/turn her shoulder to get her attention and then we went for another round of makout. Again, no words, and then her friend pulls her away.

Wow! I have never experienced something like that before. I am so glad I have been working on my eye contact.

I ended up talking to other girls, so I never did see her again, but again, I have NEVER experienced that before. I still don't know the sound of her voice, we never exchanged words. All those times in the past when I didn't think girls would be purely physically attracted to me, this is another dent against that old mentality.

==============================================================================

I did not get to pull that night, but there was another fun story as I headed back to my car. I was walking on the sidewalk with 2 friends and one of them spots a girl and says "eh, not thin enough" or something like that, and the other friend yells "it's tinkerbell!". After the words, I took a look at her, and noticed that this girl was smokin' hot. So as she is passing us, I turn around and start walking with her.
Touch/turn her shoulder as I open
Martyr - Hi. You are gorgeous, I had to come over and say hi to you

She starts saying how she has a family thing in the morning and she has to get home, but otherwise she would be down to hang out some more. As she is saying all this, we are literally holding hands walking down the block. And then this comes out of my mouth "Wait... so you're not coming home with me tonight?" She laughs.

I tell her that before she goes, I have just one question to ask her. She says what?

Martyr - On a scale from one to ten, how good of a kisser are you?
HBTinkerbell - I know what you are trying to do, you are such a slut!

Earlier in the week, my friend was telling me I should scale down the player vibe because it might be detremental to me getting girls, I decided that if that is indeed who I am, I need to embrace it fully. And it was pretty funny, because this friend has stressed not playing games with women and being honest with them, and him telling me to work against giving off a player image is actually a very dishonest thing to do. I have always been a player, I just wasn't very good at it before. So this "shit test", if it even was one, was incredibly easy to pass:

Martyr - Damn right!

And then we start making out! 15 seconds from approach to makeout, with everything happening on the street, wow! We stopped for a second, and I say to her, "we can definitely do better than that", she says yea, and then we go for another round! After that, she said, something along the lines of "wow, you are a good kisser", as she sped down the block.

==============================================================================

Things I did that I had never done:
1) 2 make outs in one night
2) Admit that I am indeed a slut
3) Make out with a girl I met on the street seconds from meeting her
4) Make out with a girl I never exchanged words with

Things I did well:
1) Did not shy away from getting physical
2) Embraced who I was

Things I could have done better:
1) Stay in set
2) Tried to pull
3) I did have some to drink during the night, so this was not done completely sober.

So My Blog Has Been Found

2008-10-23T15:20:00.000-04:00

One of my trusted wings, and great friend, Joker, stumbled upon this great blog (of 1 entry!) and suggests I should start posting more, and really document my growth as a person. He's right, I think this will help me in my personal growth. So let's document what I have been up to....

December - Started going out, it sucked. I had no idea what I was doing and I wasn't getting anywhere. I was however, talking to strangers, which I never thought I would be able to in my life. I was able to run really basic openers, and the goal was to open without creeping people out or being threatening at all. Although I was able to accomplish that, in retrospect that didn't really develop my core being. I met some great people while I was at it though (props to Shiznites - the one that dubbed me "Martyr").

January - late March - Didn't go out. No idea what I was doing other than vegetating. I basically wasted my time. I think it went from keyboard jockeying to computer games to just being depressed. I started going to the gym a little bit, and it made me feel good, but I lacked the discipline to keep up a good routine of it.

Late March - Early June - Ran into Shiznites randomly one night when I went out drinking with an old friend. He had found some new wings to hang out with, some of them seemed cool, some not so much, but he got me excited to go out again, and he invited me to join him with his new friends. Amoung them were Raven and Warlock. We were all new to this whole pickup thing, but we cared for it, and we had fun trying to learn it. I learned that Warlock had been writing field reports which included me at www.nycsargeteam.com, this is where I became a "community guy". I started meeting some new people who would soon become friends. One of these friends was Joker. Joker and I met at a "newbie sarge", an event where more experienced guys invited a bunch of newbies.

To be continued...

Lets Start

2007-12-14T00:52:00.000-05:00

"Character is not made out of sunshine and roses. Like steel, it is forged in fire, between the hammer and the anvil."

Through exposure to difficult situations, people can learn and grow. Sometimes these situations are forced upon you when you don't expect it, and they force you to face who you are at that very moment. These experiences go to waste if they are not taken advantage of. This is where i begin my journey, exploring the depths of both my humanity, and degree in which I can silence my humanity. I will empower myself with a Thick Face and a Black Heart.